My Ode to The Skapri

As a stay at home mom, my daily wardrobe consists namely of "vintage gray" yoga pants and is ruled by comfort. Last night, I ran to the grocery store in hopes of running into Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear as I roamed the aisles in purple lounge pants, navy rainboots, and a black jacket. I've tried the whole dressy Mama thing but have found that ballet flats just don't cut it when it comes to chasing two busy boys around all day. When it comes to running or working out, my wardrobe consists of gear that works. Bottoms that don't chafe, or ride up, or cause mid-run issues. Tops that wick and are long enough to cover all they should.

For loooooong runs, I love me some compression capris. However, I am not so fond of the post-run errand running in said compression capris as the booty is on full display. Cuteness has never really been a must when considering what to wear for a workout. Function reigning over all else. And then my workout wardrobe changed forever when I discovered the RUNNING SKIRT. Cuteness became a non-forced issue as I threw the skirt on and ran. Only to discover that looking good came with a chafey price. Hello chub rub and thigh wedgey. With the running skirt shelved for shorter runs, the compression capri became my go-to piece of workout gear- as witnessed by wearing them in EVERY.single.race.photo last year. Note to self: first race of 2011, WEAR DIFFERENT BOTTOMS.

And then one day, the clouds opened up, the sun shone down, and the SKAPRI danced upon my computer screen. Skapri. Are they for real? Skapri? I said the name over and over and over. Mostly because it was fun to say. And mostly because I couldn't believe something like this really existed. So naturally, I did what any workoutgearaholic would do. And ordered not one pair, but THREE. Before even giving them a workout test, I wasn't a fan of the Skirtsports skapri. It just didn't fit right and at $$$, these babies had to fit just right. One down, my skapri experience not headed in the right direction. And then these babies showed up on my doorstep:

Run Girl Run

And my workout gear life was revolutionized and changed forever. I am in love. With a pair of workout pants. The capris provide the compression I like. The skirt provides the caboose coverage I like. There is a pocket on the back. I don't think it could get any better. And then these bad boys showed up on my doorstep:
Nike Skapri

Looking at them, there really isn't much difference. But for the cheap old lady that lives within my shopping loving self, these win the prize for fit, price, and cuteness. Compression is a little snugger like my favorite Nike capris mentioned above (the same ones in EVERY.single.race photo on this blog), the skirt is vented on the side and doesn't restrict your movement at all- fully tested and passed as I wore them to a pilates class at the gym, and there is a very handy dandy zipper pocket on the back for Gus, key, etc for those long runs. So, while Stacy and Clinton may no longer find me worthy of What Not to Wear: Workout Edition, I have a loooooooong way to go in the everyday wardrobe department. For now, I will live in and love the skapri.

All I want for Christmas

Just a few things that I want for Christmas:

New shoes and these are the ones I'm currently running in and wouldn't mind either the same pair or if the newer version works, I'll take a pair of those

And a few more pairs of these since the dryer monster ate one of each style I had (so yes, I run with mismatched socks): 

A new one of these (but preferably in a different color than black): 

I love this top (thanks to April for showing it to me):

And because a girl can dream can't she? 

Best laid plans...sort of a vent

Ever have those moments where everything was going just smoothly until BAM! You've hit the biggest pothole known to man and it's thrown you for the biggest loop, you don't know up from down? Well, that's how I've been feeling lately. I took another break from running. Yup, did my usual in letting myself take back seat. I didn't beat myself too much over it because it's that time of year with the holidays and all its craziness. I would do whatever I could squeeze in and try not to complain too much about missing workouts.

I did one workout last week to jumpstart myself and clear my head. I needed to recalibrate my Nike+ and since I got a little irritated at it not calibrating an EASY 1/4 mile walk, I turned it off and just went on my merry way. Two days later, I went for a run. My head was in a bit of a fog and I felt in funk so I just went out with the thought process of 'I don't care about my pace. I don't care about the distance. I *do* care about going for 30 minutes.' And I did. I went out hard. Had my lungs and my legs burning in no time. I even puttered out so I couldn't run up the hill back home, but I didn't care. I got out there and did what I told myself to do. All was good & I felt so much better.

Now this is where my best laid plans get all screwy. Planned a weekend run with my good buddies but other things got in the way (too personal to discuss here). I had planned to go out that day before the rain started and nasty tummy bug hit one of my little guys. No sleep, constantly doing the laundry and a few extra showers to get the funk out were the only things on the agenda. When I finally got some decent sleep that night (or what I thought was decent sleep), I was woken up by my husband in excruciating pain on his way to the ER for another bout of kidney stones. Rescheduled run for Sunday was put off one more day in hopes that the pain meds would keep him comfortable, the little one had kept more food down than in previous hours, and that I could get a little more rest.

Well, today looked to be promising but we spent more than half the day in the ER and the kids are as needy as ever seeing that mommy & daddy haven't been around much in the past 2+ days. I am beyond exhausted. I could've thrown on my running shoes after finally getting the kids to bed an hour after lights were turned out, but instead I use what little energy I have left to jot down my thoughts.

I often wonder when it's times like these where I have started to get myself into a good head space and my body is feeling nothing but greatness, why I can't catch that dang break. Why do I have to be broken down and run (no pun intended) on fumes? I get that in our crazy busy lives of being SAHM or working moms that we need to make time for ourselves, but do I really need an extra double-dose of stress to work around? It's so hard to keep telling myself that 'this, too, shall pass' and to just 'try, try again'. I'm tired. I'm burned out from burned out. And at this point, all I want for Christmas is dang sleep.

Vent over.

Friday 5: Running Edition

5 races I have started & finished:
* Primo's Run 10K (2002)
* Devil Mountain Run 5K (2004, I think)
* Grape Stomp 1/2 Marathon (2009)
* See Jane Run 1/2 Marathon (2010)
* Grape Stomp 10K (2010)

5 songs that I always listen to while running:
* Beautiful Day by U2
* Pump It by Black Eyed Peas
* Rush from the So I Married an Axe Murderer soundtrack
* Hey Baby by No Doubt
* My Life Would Suck Without You by Glee cast

5 things I think about to distract me:
* My to-do list after I stretch & shower
* What amazing and completely fattening meal I would love to indulge in (usually it's a big plate of fettuccine alfredo)
* My breathing
* My next race
* My pace...but concentrating on this too much gets the best of me.

5 things I have when I run (other than the bare necessities of clothes & shoes):
* Depending on the time of the run, the Beast (and could be half or fully loaded)
* iPod
* Phone
* A Gu Chomp
* Keys

5 races I'd love to do:
* WDW Princess Half Marathon
* Disneyland Half Marathon
* A RnR series (been regretting not signing up for it this year)
* Bay to Breakers (again another one that I didn't get to participate in this year)
* Nike Women's Half (don't think I could ever be convinced to do a full)

Our "race-iversary"

The three of us just celebrated our "race-iversary", once year ago we ran our first half marathon. We ran two after that. Three half marathons in less than a year. I kind of think we rock.

In celebration of our big day, we had planned to run the Grape Stomp 10K. It was the race that got it all started for us. Unfortunately, I had to have surgery not long after the last race to correct a problem from my last c-section, so I could not run.

I am not a good when someone tells me that I can't do something. I was soooooo incredibly disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to run this race. I kept telling myself I could to it. It was 2 weeks after this "minor" surgery, I could do it, right?

No, I couldn't. My "minor" surgery was quite painful. But my friends did it. And they did it well. And I was there to cheer them on at the finish line. And Erica PR'd. I may not have run it with them, but my heart was sure there!

Then we celebrated with brunch, pedicures and wine tasting. And it was a special person's birthday.

Happy Race-iversary Ladies. I love you both and look forward to many anniversaries in the future!!

Grape Stomp: One year later

What a year it's been! This past Sunday marked our one year race-iversary (Rachel came up with the fabulous term and it's stuck!). April & I (with Rachel in spirit) ran the 10K portion of the race this year as a way to commemorate all that we've done. Going into this race, I just wanted to beat a PR from 8 years ago. It seemed silly to think about at first because a lot had happened in 8 years, mainly the fact that I was heavier, with 2 kids, and just a fraction of the time to train for this than I did for that one. But I so badly just wanted a better time. I wanted to really prove to myself and everyone else that I can run faster. 

I didn't really remember much of this race. As we got together afterwards for brunch, we all agreed that we were overwhelmed with excitement and nerves to remember anything but our finishes. The first noticeable difference was that registration was full. April technically didn't register to run it, but it wasn't like they were really strict about checking for bibs or chips. And the race occurred on a public trail so she would've joined me at any point in the race. The next big thing was that the forecast was incredibly different than last year. We're pretty sure it was warm then...but we had a huge storm brewing. It was forecasted to be wet & windy. Luckily, we only had the windy part as the rain came just after I crossed the finish line. 

We made our way to the starting line and I was so anxious to get this going. It really didn't help that they started all the races late. But we were off--and we snaked our way in and out of the walkers in front and to get out onto the trail itself. I knew I'd start off fast--heck I was with April! I also knew that I could slow her down if need be (maybe she'll chime in and let me down easy with when I did that). ;) Soon we passed mile 1...then the sprinting 5K'ers came yelling through..and then, holy crap: we were halfway there! I felt pretty damn amazing until about 4+ miles. I grabbed some water to cut the nasty taste in my mouth. I had mentally beat myself up for not bringing a GU Chomp or even a piece of candy. I have never felt so queasy ever on a run! Really I wouldn't have kept going if it weren't for April. Sure I was slowing my pace, but as we kept going I somehow put the feelings aside. I had to--I had a number in my head. The finish line was SO, so close! 

She pulled away at the parking lot and I did my best to put it all out there. I did...then I saw the time: 1:19:--. I immediately thought, 'Well there goes that personal best' followed by the ever so classy, 'F!#$'! I heard Rachel and my other friend, Lisa cheering me on but I was already defeated. I felt so bad. I thought I really had done it. I hadn't run and kept up with April (without a stroller to slow her down either) in so long. Why didn't my time show me that? 

They hadn't posted results quickly enough and the storm was coming. We hurried out of there to enjoy the rest of our celebrating. Fast forward to later that day when I googled the results. This popped up: 

1:11:04

I did it! I did it! I did it! I had forgotten that we started 8 minutes later than we were supposed to. I had successfully beaten my 10K time from 2002. It wasn't *the* number in my head, but it was 5+ minutes faster than the other. And I was completely in shock & so, so happy! 

So here we all are a year later. We're still running. We're faster. And we're still planning our future races (can you say Disneyland?!). I sit here trying to write something awesome to finish this off, but I apologize, I'm distracted by that amazing, bold number that's flashing right in front of me. :) 

Reflections {part one}

It's hard to believe that one year ago this coming weekend, the 3 of us crossed the finish line of our very first half marathon. Since then, we've logged on many more miles and captured some of our very best PRs. As I went for my 5-miler earlier this week, I kept thinking about the past couple of years. We all took an idea and literally ran with it. No huge goals were set, just the simple one of 'don't die'. We celebrated any and all accomplishments along the way. And what has surprised me most of all, is that I am still running (and that if you run enough you will inevitably start to eat bananas coming from the person who really didn't like to eat them). 


I've always known that running has made me feel better but little did I know how it would really change me. I went from really dreading any sort of workout to desperately trying to find some time to put in a mile or two. It clears my head like no other workout can. I'm able to put aside some everyday stresses and worries just so I have that coveted me time. I can't take long breaks from running. It drives me crazy. I start craving that hard workout. There are times when there is nothing more satisfying than just going out and coming back completely covered in sweat but wearing it all with a HUGE grin on my face. I'll even start dreaming about running if go too long without them. No matter how hard I try to push it to the back burner, it all comes back with a big, 'I told you so'. 


My expectations for Sunday's race aren't big. Just the usual, don't get hurt and run to have fun. To be honest I am more looking forward to some bigger races with the girls in the coming year. As grueling as the training can be, it's the end result that I love. That feeling that, yes, I can do anything. And yes, I can do the one thing that I think I cannot do. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I wouldn't be where I am today as a runner, if it weren't for April & Rachel.

San Jose Rock and Roll, part 2

This race was different for me too.

Since our last half in June, April and I had talked about a goal of finishing under 2 hours. 1:59:59 would be ok with us! I was totally on board for this and was amped up for the training it would take. Then life happened...

Work got very busy, the kids kept me very busy, home life kept me very busy, we traveled A LOT this summer, I was finding it very hard to find time to run. I could usually squeeze in one or two runs during the week and one longer run on the weekend.

And my runs were not good. Craptastic actually. I was getting very discouraged. And, somewhere during one of my horrible runs, I realized I wasn't going to finish in under two hours. And I got a little depressed.

A few weeks before the race, April and I ran a 9 miler. We talked. I told her my frustration and she convinced me to take the pressure off of myself and just go out and run the race, at my pace and, if nothing else, have fun.

And that is just what I did.

I lost April pretty much right after we crossed the start line. Lost Becky right around mile 3. But I was ok with running this race by myself. The course was great, it wound through areas of San Jose I have never been too, and through areas that brought back so many memories (my old Junior High!).

I finished the race in 2 hours, 13 minutes and 23 seconds. Not under 2 hours, but I don't think the smile left my face until I went to bed that night. I had so much fun, was so proud of myself for finished my 3rd half marathon in less than a year and crossed that finish line feeling no pressure and looking forward to my next race.

San Jose Rock and Roll Half Marathon

This race was different for me. I wasn't nervous the weeks approaching the race. I wasn't nervous the night before the race. Or excited. I couldn't figure it out. I got butterflies as Rachel parked the car in the race lot. The only time I had real nerves was as we were trying to find our fourth running Mama before the race. Five minutes to go, no sign of her. One minute to go, no sign of her. Start whistle blows, NO SIGN of her.

It wasn't until I crossed the start mat that the emotions caught up with me. I had tears in my eyes. The MONTHS of hard work: waking up at 5 am, running with the jogging stroller, running the long runs NO MATTER WHAT, running in the heat, running in the rain, sacrifice: skipping dates with mommy friends to make sure I could wake up and run on the weekends, skipping coffee dates, lunch dates, FUN stuff to run had got me here: the START. Unlike my first half, I knew what it really meant to train for and RUN a half marathon. The time commitment. The physical commitment. The emotional commitment. The family commitment. At that moment, I had already won. I knew that I would finish. I may not like my time, but I would limp, crawl, roll my way across the finish if I had to. Despite the many challenges and obstacles, I never gave up. I didn't quit. I had set a goal and done it. And was surrounded by 13,000+ other people who had in some way or another done the same and I was overcome with emotion.

The emotions, adrenaline, and excitement got me through the first few miles. Music playing in the background. New sights. The HOPE that our fourth running Mama would come running up beside me. It took me a couple miles to get over the disappointment of not having found her. I lost Rachel super early on, before the quarter mile mark. I suddenly had to change gears and realize that I was going to have to run this as a onesome. I was not prepared for that. I focused on finding a person to pace with. Granted, I ALWAYS pick the wrong ones. The undercover super runners dressed in unassuming, older looking person clothing. I fell into a comfortable pace. Miles one through six breezed by:

Mile 1 8:43
Mile 2 8:42
Mile 3 8:45
Mile 4 8:53
Mile 5 8:51
Mile 6 8:57

By mile 7, I was hot. I could feel the blisters forming on my feet. I don't have the take-Gu-out-of-pocket-open-eat-and-drink-water thing down. I have to walk through aid stations or else risk losing all contents of my pocket, drenching myself with water, and possibly choking on my Gu chomp. I had just watched the Men's winner haul past me. FYI: he won the race in ONE HOUR. Ass. And I was realizing that there was no way I was going to find my friends.

Mile 7 9:26

I had a brief burst of energy for mile 8.

Mile 8 8:51

And then hit a wall. I knew there was an aid station around mile 8 somewhere. Turned out to be closer to 8.5. I told myself I would slow down and walk through the water station. And did. And debated why I should run again. Walking was nice. Walking was comfortable. The music was good. And then I watched the most inspiring young man run past me in an Army shirt. And prosthetic leg. If HE COULD DO IT, certainly I could. I threw down my water cup and ran right behind him. Tears welled up in my eyes. I followed him for the next few miles.

Mile 9 9:33
Mile 10 9:12
Mile 11 9:16

At the completion of mile 11 I felt like I had NOTHING more to give but knew I was SO SO close. I also knew I had two miles left and has just crossed mile 11 at about 1:40. In my mind, I knew I could somehow pull off two miles at a 10 min./mile pace. I saw my sub-2 goal slipping right before my eyes. THIS is where I wish I had one of my running girls. THIS is where you could use someone by your side to push you. Encourage you. REMIND you not to give up. REMIND you that you are completely capable of this.

Mile 12 9:21

As we near mile 13 you can hear the music and crowds cheering on the finishers. I was finally welcomed by familiar sights I had seen while waiting for the race to start. I told myself to PUT IT ALL OUT THERE. THIS is what I had trained for. If I didn't leave it all out on the race course it would have all been a complete waste of time. Blisters burning my feet. Hamstrings tightening up. Left knee screaming. I put my big girl panties on and RAN. As fast as I could.

Mile 13 8:43
Mile .24 8:14

GARMIN totals: 13.24 miles, 9:00 min/mile average, 1:59:11.
Chip time: 1:59:03

I had done it. Sub-2 hour half: DONE.

As I gimped my way from the Finish, I watched others cross the mats. Two women hand in hand, one wearing an "I survived cancer" shirt, tears streaming down their faces. A young boy, likely around 10-ish running with his parents. The young soldier with the prosthetic leg. If I ever wondered, I no longer needed to. Runners come in all shapes and sizes. All different skill levels. The lucky ones, the really lucky ones, learn that running is so much more than putting one foot in front of the other. It's about being part of a community. Experiencing success. Learning about challenges while ignoring failure. It's about mental toughness, determination, and perseverance. Never giving in to excuses, self doubt, or life obstacles. It's having an I CAN and WILL attitude instead of an I could, would, or should attitude. It's about doing whatever it takes to get you to that start line. And across the finish.

If you can't run...just DANCE!

I (once again) made the mistake of sleeping through an alarm to run this morning before it got hot out. I knew getting out on a Monday after a pretty productive weekend was a crapshoot but I was optimistic anyway. As I was driving kiddo numero dos to school, I had my XM radio tuned to my favorite station, channel 8 (the 80s station). Yes, I am a child of the 80s. Love 80s music. Grew up on all those fabulous 80s sitcoms and can still remember what my favorite commercials and jingles are. I know some people can only take so much of hearing Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" but not me. Those are the songs that get me moving. I had the sheer delight of hearing one that transported me back to 1987 today. The song was "Wipeout" by The Beach Boys & The Fat Boys. We had moved to NorCal from SoCal. It was a hard move on us kids. I could see me & my siblings in some amazing hypercolor t-shirts (remember those?) with some equally amazing acid wash jean shorts. We missed being close to the beach (although for years I thought the beach was hours away since that's what my parents told me--a story for another day), spending days at Disneyland or Universal Studios or hanging out at South Coast Plaza. I turned up the radio loud...but not too loud that I wouldn't get to enjoy it over the protests coming from the back seat. I started bouncing around in my seat---even got the kiddo to wave his hands in the air and bob his head back and forth. The fun didn't stop there...Madonna's "Like a Virgin" was next...I moved to my other favorite station the 90s after that to change it up and got transported to my high school days with some Green Day. I could get used to this...and then I realized, well duh, no run might mean it's a dance party kind of day!

So here I am at home writing this little bit on the computer with my Sirius on in the background. With every song that comes on, I am immediately transported back to some fun times and I'm moving like none other! But with all of this comes some warning, I really can't dance if I tried. Sure I can mimic the moves of Milli Vanilli and the good ol' Running Man, but that's about it. Most times my moves look like something out of Night at the Roxy or SNL's Spartan cheerleaders. If you are a friend and usually go by my usual stomping grounds, don't give me the side eye or laugh when you see me stopping in tracks and busting out some crazy and so not worthy of So You Think You Can Dance moves on the trail or sidewalk. Instead why don't you join me because it's not a dance party if I am the only one having fun!! 

Gotta run  Vogue, will you join me?! 

Feeling left out (and kinda emotional)

I had a bit of a pity party going on with myself over the weekend. A few FB friends mentioned upcoming races and a twinge (ok not a twinge) of sadness came over me. I had decided to not enter into a fall half marathon race partly because I knew the summer would yield not very good training runs with the plans I had and that (sadly), money was an issue. But no matter what, I would continue to cheer on my best running buddies and whenever they wanted an easy (and I emphasize the word easy as my runs are basically walks to them now) and some time to chat, I would be there to pound the pavement with them. While I am entered in a race at the end of October, a sort of anniversary marker of our 1st half together coupled with celebrating someone's birthday on race day, I still feel left out. I have missed the camaraderie of our long runs, laughing or venting about the week's events and the beloved and well-deserved coffee pit stop at the end. I miss throwing out my own pats on the back for accomplishing a long run after an awful week with my best buds. And even though I could sit here and stew about it all, I remind myself of how far I have come with (or without) them. What's been amazing about my running buddies is that no matter where I am in training or not training, they'll join me and check up on me. They will continue to lift me up and encourage me to do anything or nothing. It looks like I have just talked myself out of my funk and into some warm & fuzzy good feelings at all the fun we have had along the way. :)

Guess I just needed to get this out there and again tell you two (and anyone else that's reading) how much I admire and am inspired by you both. Your half is coming up this weekend and I know that some incredible PRs will be made. :)

Race Report: DSE Half Marathon

In my head, this was a practice run. The days leading up to it, I saw it as a long run. Aiming for 12. Would be happy with 10. PRACTICE run. I pull into the parking lot and there is no one there except for a few of the organizers. Okay. Exactly what I expected for my fake, non-real, non-race Half.

And then more people showed up. Tents went up. More tables were set up. BIBS were handed out. Timers went up. Ummmm...FAKE Half, not so much. I still wasn't nervous. I intended to run the entire thing slow, or at least I would try. My main goal is to rock the Rock-n-roll Half in two weeks. I didn't want to hurt myself. Or overdo it.

I had the honor of running with someone who I see as a total Mommy Athlete Stud, Melissa. Her intentions were similar to mine. Rest legs. PRACTICE run. And then we set out...first mile: under 9 min/mile. Second mile: even faster. Third mile: even faster. Apparently, we are both a little more competitive than we thought.

All was rockin until the first aid station. It was muggy. I was thirsty. I reached out for the Cytomax. Stopped to walk and drink. I have NOT mastered the run and drink thing. At least not the run and drink AND get said liquid in my mouth thing. I Gu. I take off. About a half mile later, around 5 miles in, it hits. THE WORST SIDE STITCH I have ever had. Ever. I couldn't get a full deep breath. I tried to walk it out. Breath it out. It never really went away. I was pissed. And hurting. NO CYTOMAX for this girl, apparently. I ran, walked, jogged the remaining mileage. Feeling good for a stretch and then side lined by the side stitch. More than anything, this makes me completely scared and nervous for race day.

All in all, despite the plethora of walking breaks. Desire to quit. Funny weather: muggy, humid, rain, hot. We managed a respectable 2:09. For me, the fact that I can say I ran 13.1 as a PRACTICE run baffles my mind. A year ago, I would have laughed at you. I would have thought it impossible. And yet, here I sit, slightly frustrated that I know we could have run faster. I'll chalk it up to keeping some in the vault...for the *REAL* Half. Though there was ABSOLUTELY nothing *fake* about the 13.15 miles I ran on Sunday.

All in all, it was an awesome race...WITH goodie bags. For $10, this is a race I would absolutely run again. FASTER.

Getting discouraged

4 weeks. We have 4 weeks until our next race.

I have had craptastic run after craptastic run for the last few weeks.

I can't find time to run during the week. I can't find time to run with my running buddies.

I am starting to get discouraged.

I need one good run to get my head back into the game. One good run. Please let it happen for me this week.

Learning to be Selfish...

As a stay-at-home mom, the majority of my days are determined by routine. A schedule that has fallen into place as a result of trial and error. Meals. Naps. And lately, the NIGHTMARE that is potty training. I realized very early on in the parenting game that I don't control nearly as much as I thought.

After having Ty, I struggled to find the balance between being a Mommy...and everything else. Right when I found a groove, Jacob made his appearance on the scene. It was at this point that Rachel announced her desire to run a half marathon. Having run two to three miles pretty consistently since my wedding, I was up for the challenge.

We ran. We trained. We finished our first. And our second. And here we are, weeks away from our third. The training hasn't got any easier. We haven't managed to find extra hours in our days. From her post below, you can see that it takes a lot of planning to get our longer runs in these days...especially as there are MORE of them. For our first Half, we ran 9 miles ONCE. 10 miles ONCE. And raced. Now, we've already logged in the longer mileage and have weeks to go.

Running has taught me a lot. It has given me an outlet to find peace. And quiet. There is no one chasing after me asking for juice. Or snacks. Or in need of a diaper change. Or sibling squabbles to break up. It's just me. And my music. Twice a week I run with mini-bit in the jogger or wake up early to squeeze in the miles. For the long runs on the weekend I sneak away for a bigger chunk of time. If the stars align and schedules open up, I meet my running homies for a run. And coffee. The husband whines. And hims and haws. I understand that my training is a family affair. I understand that it calls on him to watch the boys solo after a LONG week of work. But I no longer feel guilty. Call it a lesson in selfishness but I do it for ME. One day a week. For a few hours.

I think EVERY mom needs the chance to miss her kids. The chance to step out of the house and away from her daily routine. The chance to regain her groove and rejuvenate her well of patience. While a FULL marathon seems truly impossible and is nowhere near my radar of things to do, the lure of FOUR to FIVE hours of uninterrupted time makes me wonder...maybe one day.

10 Things in 10 Minutes

These were just some of the things/questions/conversations going through my head in the 10 minutes it took me to find my groove and glance down and realize I was half-way done with my run.

* Great job--got yourself out of the house and halfway down the street. You can do this for at least 2 more songs.

* Hmm, why does my running skirt feel like it's falling down? It didn't feel big when I put it on...great. This will be interesting. (Start tugging and pulling up every few feet...)

* Did I use enough Glide? Oh dear, is that chafing I'm starting to feel?

* Cute dog, wonder how long s/he has been running alongside the owner? S/he looks like they are about to keel over. If they can hang, so can I.

* Ok, seriously running skirt?! This is almost as bad as the riding up of shorts!

* Hello, (down)hill---be kind to my knees and look good on my pace. ;)

* Glad I had that Chomp and bit of Gatorade...my shade is gone and I'm feeling really hot and kinda yucky. Pull through...it's not that bad. Make it to the next tree.

* Ooh, good Glee song is on! Should I sing? What if I forget to breathe right? Wait, what are those words again? "Don't stop bleeding.." no, it's believing, nothing's bleeding. Now I'm wondering if I have another blister somewhere. Why did I read that silly list of misheard lyrics?!

* What should I have for lunch? Hummus & veggies? Hummus with pita chips? Chips and veggies? Mmm, chips. And cheese. Yup, nachos. Nachos sound so good right now. And a little fro-yo to cool me down afterwards, too. Did I just see a roach coach drive by?

* Ok I think I need to turn around....has been 10 minutes yet? (look down at iPod--it's been 11 minutes) YES halfway done...turn around and faced with going back UP the hill I came down. Son of a...ok, I can do this. Come on music, bring me home! (A little Pump It by Black Eyed Peas did the trick)

And there you have it. I didn't really want to run today. I'm tired. I had two fun and very late nights in a row. My boys were unforgiving and woke up extra early to boot. But I did it. I'm glad I did and nice to know that I can entertain myself for at least 2 miles. ;) 

Planning for the long run

There is a reason people who run half marathons are in a special group. Not only is it a pretty long distance, but as your training goes along, it starts to take a good chunk of time.

We are currently 5 1/2 weeks away from race day. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

It is about this time that, on my long runs, I begin to wonder the hell I decided to do this. And a long run to me is anything over 7 miles. Anything that is going to potentially take more than an hour. Yes. An hour. Of running.

Luckily I have amazing running buddies to keep me motivated. But I know we all go through the same thing to plan for these runs. Yes, I said PLAN.

Here is what a typical long run planning session looks like for me:

Step 1: Email my running buddies to see if they are available on x date to run for x (8, 9, 10) miles.

Step 2: Confirm potential date and find a time to ask very-busy husband if he would mind watching the kids while I run.

Step 3: Slyly slip "would you mind watching the kids on x morning, I was hoping to do a long run with running buddies?" and (under my breath) "I might be gone for a few hours" into a conversation.

Step 4: Watch as very-busy husband rolls his eyes, asks if this is going to be our last race and then he agrees, but asks "you'll be home by lunch time, right?"

Step 5: Rush to add running date to the calendar and email running buddies to let them know we are on.

Step 6: On the actual day of running, I wake up early, eat something, drive out to meet my friends, run run run, grab some coffee and then head back home to the family. Typical running date lasts about 3 hours. See why we have to plan?

But, even after all this planning, running, training, the feeling of crossing that finish line, knowing what we had to do to get there, is absolutely amazing.

And no, this will not be my last race (sorry husband!).

Dusting myself off...

There's a reason why I've been MIA. Actually many reasons...but the main one is that I fell off the running wagon. I fell so far off, the wagon is clear across the country and who knows how I can get back on. I really don't know why I did this to myself. I loved the camaraderie, the runner's high and just knowing that I had that time for myself. After our half in June, I felt like a million bucks. I was smiling from ear to ear for weeks. I had done something I never thought I would in a million years do AGAIN. And it was far more emotional the second time around. As the pride began to subside, I fell back into the chaos at home. Our summer was going to be filled with insane preschool schedules and a HUGE garage clean-out at my parents' house. I forced myself to become hyper-focused on the tasks ahead: to not drive (literally) myself crazy getting two kids to two different schools at two different times and to mentally and physically get myself ready for going through YEARS of stuff that 7 people can accumulate. I couldn't get myself focused back on running...it was just something that was going to take backseat until I could find my groove...

...which was last Monday. All it took was some convincing and little extra push and I got my tush out there (with a FULLY loaded Beast). My only expectation was to run 1 mile. I did it. I survived. The boys weren't too happy, but heck they probably would've been just as upset if I did a longer run. What I realized is that I really need to get better at asking for help. It was an ever so subtle cry for help that was answered with the simple email of 'let's go for a run'. No amount was too little--just the push to get me out there. And it felt good. There is a reason why the 3 of us have come together and stayed together. We have each other to lean on no questions asked, no judgment passed and nothing but all the encouragement in the world. 

So I have dusted myself off and will be ending my summer with a training schedule of getting back into the game and signing up for a 5K in September. As much as I want to conquer a particular time, all I really want to do is just get my groove back. And I hope I can be there to cheer on the other two as they reach their goals in their 3rd half marathon. :) 

"You're truly a runner now!"

I was lucky enough to go on vacation with my family to San Diego for a week. I was so excited to spend time as a family of four, away from all the stresses of day to day life, and also incredibly excited to run near the ocean. I knew the house we rented was steps away from the Bay side walking path and a few hundred yards away from the ocean side walking path/boardwalk.

My husband and I were lucky enough to get out 3 out of the 5 days we were at the beach and it was awesome! The first day I ran my longest run of the vacation by myself, it was 4th of July and the Bay was getting ready for the nighttime party, great distraction during my run! The next time we ran on the ocean side, we started off together and then my husband stopped with the kids so they could play in the sand, I continued on and took in all the sights. The last day, probably my favorite run of the week, we all ran together, took turns pushing the jogging stroller and ended at one of the best breakfast places in Pacific Beach.

I posted my runs each day on Daily Mile/Facebook and got a comment from a friend "I love that you are running on vacation. You're truly a runner now!"

And you know what, I believe it. I pack my running clothes to go on vacation, and am EXCITED about it. I am truly a runner now!

The *Joys* of Running with Children

I overslept. Read: woke up at 6:15. Never in my life did I think I'd see those two terms near each other: overslept and 6:15. But it happened and I missed my early morning run.

As punishment a result, I was forced to do something I haven't done in a long time. Run with both boys. During non-napping hours. With the Beast. I thought, foolishly, that it had been a long time, maybe they'd sit there quietly taking in all the sights. Appreciating the fresh air and beauty of the trail. Hah.

Running with the boys is a whole morning endeavor. I have to pack up the entire pantry in order to attempt to keep them quiet and happy. Snacks. Water. More snacks. Books. More books. A special car for each boy. For me: nothing.

I loaded up the car. Heaved the stroller into the back. And drove to one of my favorite running spots. Well, actually it looked more like this. I chased around mini-bit trying to catch him in order to get him dressed. Ran him down. Changed him. Put on his clothes. And shoes. Off he went. Chased after big-bit. Caught him. Changed him. Put on his clothes. And shoes. Loaded the snacks into the car. Walked back into the living room which now wreaked of ass. I knew already that I had to contend with two poopy diapers. I was right. Chased down mini-bit AGAIN. Caught him. Changed his diaper. Put his clothes back on. Chased down big-big AGAIN. Changed his diaper. Put his clothes back on. Told the boys to head to car. Had to deal with mini-bit and his new Limp Noodle and Flat Board Routine. Pick him up to put him in his car seat: limp noodle. Near the car seat: flat board. Ty is in the car rooting through the inner compartment. Looking for quarters and trashing the front seat. I am slowly losing my mind and am in desperate need of a RUN. ALL OF THIS for a run. And we haven't even left the driveway yet. Hell, we aren't even all buckled into the car YET.

The boys are finally buckled in. Whining. Asking to go to the park. The bribing begins: if you guys are cooperative and let Mommy run, we'll go to the park afterward. I get to my running spot and start unloading. Stroller out. Snacks out. Water out. I am already sweating. And tired. I get Jake out of the car seat and perform the Limp Noodle and Flat Board routine once again. It's TWICE as much fun in public. Get him in. Get Ty out of the car. Buckle him in. He starts. Mommy I get out. I run. I give him some snacks and his books. I know I've got at least a few minutes of peace. I start running. FINALLY.

I run for about a quarter mile before it begins. First round of snacks: gone. Devoured. Books: read. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I try to ignore. It only gets louder. More shrill. I offer more snacks. Crisis temporarily averted. I look down. It's only been .46 miles. Damn. I immediately realize that my goal of three miles is out. At this point, I'll take two. Seconds later, both boys done with their snacks. It begins again. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I try to ignore, again, even though it NEVER works. About to pull my hair out, I am passed by a Mommy with a double jogger and QUIET, non-sleeping, non-whining children. I instantly hate her. I push on. Trying to console. Reason. Beg. Plead with the boys to let Mommy have her running time.

We reach the one mile marker and I feel as though I have run half a half. We turn around. I lost my mind around mile .65 and my last nerve around mile .85. I figured it couldn't get much worse. I start to slow and feel like the stroller weighs a million pounds. I look down to discover a nearly flat tire. Awesome. One mile. I can do it. Flat tire and all. Screaming, whining children. The picture of running mommyhood bliss. I FINALLY get back to the car. Only to realize that Jake lost his shoe somewhere and I missed it. Some saint of a woman had seen about a quarter of a mile back and carried it to us. I wanted to kiss her. I loved her. Really. I offered her a child in gratitude for finding Jake's shoe but she said no thanks. I didn't love her as much. Or want to kiss her.

Packed the boys up. Packed up the stroller. Looked at my Nike+. Total mileage: 2.32. Pace: 9:25. Total time: LONGEST, most dreadful 21 minutes and 53 seconds of my life. Guess who will NEVER EVER miss a morning run again. EVER.

Addicted

I am leaving for a weekend away today. As I was packing my suitcase last night, I almost considered bringing my running stuff in my carry-on, just in case my luggage got lost, at least I would be able to run.

Yea, I'm addicted.

One week later

It's been one week since the three of us conquered our 2nd half marathon. I had continued to ride an amazing high for quite a few days after. I was in awe of all the goals we had completed. I glowed from the ever-so-wonderful sunburn I got (lesson learned: must NOT forget sunscreen). And I still got teary-eyed as I could still hear the cheers crossing that finish line. 


I've taken a week off from any sort of running and I can already feel the itch to get back out there. How is it that at one time in my life I shot down any and all suggestions that running was FUN? I can say that I miss just knowing that all I have to do is to go out and see how far and how long I can go. I miss our group runs--it really is the best therapy. And I miss the anticipation of another event to look forward to (or dread depending on my mood). I guess I am leaving that door wide open for some arm-twisting to sign up for a Fall race. Oh dear. Did I just say that?? ;) 

Running with an Angel in my pocket

I hope it is ok that I share this, but it was such a special part of my race on Saturday that I don't want to not mention it.

Erica had a pretty devastating event in her life not too long ago, she lost her Mom. I can't imagine what she has endured because I haven't been in her shoes, but I have tried to be there for her.

When we got out of the car on Saturday morning before the race, Erica pulled something out of her bag and held it in her hand. I took one look at the two angel pins she had and, instantly knew what they were for. And instantly started crying. As did Erica and April. Both April and I took the pins from Erica's hand and put them on. I will never forget what Erica said "I love that both of you know and I don't have to say anything".

Yes, running has brought us together, but I know that we have forged a friendship that, God forbid, if we were never able to run again, we will remain friends for the rest of our lives.

Erica, thank you for letting me be a part of your life. I can't tell you how many times I reached into my pocket on Saturday hoping for an extra little push when I felt that pin, and every single time I felt it, it pushed me on mile after mile.

Thank you both for being my friend.

What I've Learned...

My goals for the first half last October were simple: finish. And don't die. No pressure. No expectations. Just run as far as I can for as long as I can. I figured the absolute worse thing that could happen is that I walk. I had a finishing goal in my head but not having ever ran a half before it didn't really mean much.

This time was different. I was aware of the distance. The pain I would feel towards the end. The fact that it would feel like I was running with cinder blocks attached to my feet for the last couple miles. I didn't go into this race as confidently as I had hoped. The practice run kicked my ass. I struggled through the twelve mile practice route. Like, REALLY struggled. Somewhere between the finish of our last half and training for this one, I got it in my head that I would run a half under two hours. Likely not this one, but one nonetheless. Someday. After the practice run, I kicked myself for thinking a sub-two hour half was possible. We ran the twelve miles in 1:56. Unless my deep deeeeeeeeep routed Kenyan genes kicked in at some point, there was no way I was going to knock out a three minute mile to come in at 1:59.

I wasn't nervous as the race started. I was excited. I felt great. I felt naked without my Nike+ and had no way of knowing how fast I was going or pacing myself. I figured this might just be a hidden blessing as my body would lead the pace and determine how fast I go or when I pull back. I hadn't planned on running any of this race by myself. In fact, after our practice run I figured I would be doing all I could to keep up with Rachel. Between a crowded foot bridge, narrow path, and overgrown weeds I lost Rachel around mile three. I was in no way prepared to run ten miles solo. I would learn that running is more mental than physical and that your mind can really carry you through when your body feels as though it can no longer.

I felt strong through miles eight, nine, ten...and then hit a wall at mile eleven. My legs felt like they each weighed a hundred pounds. Each step reminded of the painful blisters that had formed on both feet. My hips were angry at me. I told myself that if this were easy, everyone would be doing it. I coaxed myself to suck it up. I tried everything imaginable to keep my mind off the fact that EVERYTHING hurt. Consider yourself lucky that you weren't anywhere near me to hear me completely butcher Vanilla Ice Ice Baby. Dun dun dun da dun dun. I thought of my boys. I thought of how one day I will have to give them a pep talk on never giving up. Working through the pain. And I thought of how I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite. I had to do this for them. I had do this for me. I worked too hard to NOT leave it all on the table. So I kept going. I didn't slow down even though I wanted to DESPERATELY. In my mind I was a leaping, galloping gazelle. In reality, I was a plodding, heavy footed *insert animal*.

As soon as I could see the finish I started to tear up. I had done this. Again. And I knew I had done it faster than last time. I couldn't see the time clock as there was an amazing crowd lining the finish. As I stepped over the mats I could see my time in the corner of my eye. 2:01:30.

I learned that ANYTHING is possible when you put your MIND to it. While I cursed myself for not running 1:31 faster, I realized that a sub-two hour half is in fact VERY possible. And I will do it. I will keep running until I do.

As I waited for Rachel and Erica to finish I stood at the finish line and marveled at the diversity of runners. All different ages, sizes, abilities. Moms and daughters finishing with their arms around each other. Women hurting from their heads to their toes but smiling as they crossed the finish. I found it to be the most inspiring show of strength, courage, perseverance, and athleticism. I am quite certain that everyone overcame something that day. But no matter the obstacle or challenge, we all crossed that finish line. Watching Erica and Rachel cross the finish line filled me with the utmost pride and admiration. This journey has forged a friendship that can't be expressed in poetry or prose. They have seen me at my absolute worse and helped pushed me through when I needed it the most. They have taught me strength. I marvel at their busy lives and ability to train.

The training most certainly isn't always fun. Or easy. There were countless times I thought we were crazy. But because of them. Because of the training. The pain. The sacrifices. I have experienced the absolutely priceless feeling of crossing that finish line. Twice. And learned that I can do more than I ever thought.

Isn't it purdy?!

Isn't it purdy?

I did it...again. All the excitement, nerves and HARD work certainly paid off. While I am my own worst critic, I only shaved off 13 minutes from the half last October. It wasn't as much as I wanted, but in the end I felt stronger, more confident, and empowered to beat that time (when? I have no idea--but I will be shooting for 2:20 for my next race). 


This race meant so much to me. Last year, I was in a different place. I was running to focus back on me. I wanted to lose myself in the runs rather than losing myself in grief. I wanted so badly to have something else take the place of the pain I was feeling and sure enough wearing the wrong shoes, running in HOT weather, and being a 1st-timer, I accomplished that. But it was more than that, I had two wonderful friends show me something that I didn't know existed. Being with them showed me that yes, I could do what I thought was unthinkable. I could finish a half marathon. It didn't matter if I ran a quarter of it or not, the fact that I started it AND finished it was an accomplishment in itself. They were there to listen to me whine, lift me up when I was feeling down, and cheer me on whenever I passed a HUGE milestone. 


I ran this race with some of the most special women in my life in mind. I ran for April & Rachel. I wanted to prove to them that no matter how big or small my goals, I could do it. I have such admiration for all they do. It was a way for me to honor them. I ran for my mom. She helped me through some of my long runs and she helped me through this one. She is my guardian angel and I hope that I can make her proud for all of my accomplishments. I ran for my sisters, my mother-in-law and several friends, who have all been through so many different life experiences---and each of them handled theirs with amazing strength and grace. It was for ALL of these women and more that I ran for. 


I was an emotional mess as I turned that corner and saw the big FINISH archway. It had all come down to this. Hundreds of screaming people pushing me on--and the loudest of the bunch: April & Rachel. They knew I'd be sobbing--heck I was already teary at mile 4! I can't put into words all the amazing feelings I had. I am humbled that I can finally consider myself a runner. I still have my moments where I don't think I belong alongside them and they are there to knock some sense back into me. I am just eternally grateful for everything they have done to help me realize who I am and what I mean to people. 


And to all the other women in my life: I really couldn't have done it without you all. You all mean so much to me that I hope to continue to honor you in whatever way I know how. The sweat, pain, and tears are worth every bit for having you all in my life. 


Now, let's do this again EVERY year. :) 

We did it

Our second half marathon is done. Each one of us crossed the finish line. It was an absolutely amazing, emotional, exhausting experience, but we did it and I couldn't be more proud or more happy.

I had three goals for this race:

1. Keep up with April.
2. Run the entire thing, all 13.1 miles.
3. Finish under 2 hours 10 minutes.

Here's how it went:

1. I lost April at about mile 3. She was a rockstar. A serious rockstar and I knew, if I tried to keep up with her, there was no way I was going to meet my other two goals. (During our first half, I was able to hang with April until about mile 7, this time, not so much. Did I mention she is a rock star?!). Goal number 1, FAIL.

2. After I lost April, I started to doubt myself. How was I going to run the next 10 miles (10 MILES?!?!!?) by myself. Yea, I had my IPod, but 10 miles, good Lord. But then I remembered why I was doing this, how far I had come and how many times I had done some long runs by myself. Guess what? I did it. I ran each and every one of those 13.1 miles. Goal number 2, SUCCESS!

3. It was around mile 8 that I started to get tired. Really, really tired. I was doing anything and everything I could to distract myself from thinking about how tired my legs were, how thirsty I was, how much my feet hurt, etc. etc. There was a water station at mile 8, and there were some inspirational signs posted there. The one that hit me was from Eleanor Roosevelt, "You must do the things you think you cannot do", hit me so hard I had tears in my eyes. I was going to run this thing and, gosh darn it, I was going to push myself to do it under 2 hours 10 minutes. Then all of the sudden I saw the 10 mile marker, I seriously did the happy dance in my head, I WAS ALMOST DONE!!! I struggled through those last three miles, I'm not going to lie. I was ready to throw in the towel, then I turned the corner, saw the clock, it said "2:09:something". WHAT?! I was sooooooooo close. I turned it on and crossed the finish line in 2 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds. 2 HOURS, 10 MINUTES AND 4 SECONDS. 25 minutes faster then my first half marathon. I did it. Goal number 3, SUCCESS!!

April (aka, rockstar, who, by the way, finished about 10 minutes before me) was there when I crossed and gave me a hug. I started sobbing. I did it. All that hard work was done. In 2 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds.

We went and stretched and then headed to the finish line to watch for Erica. And then she appeared. Tears streaming down her face. April and I started crying, and cheering, loud, I mean really loud. And she did it. Crossed that finish line and had the next, at least 4 women next to us, in tears also.

The three of us met up, hugged, cried and then started celebrating. We all crossed that finish line. We did it. And I couldn't be happier.

All Ready to GO...

I am not nervous. I am not scared. I am ready. And so so so excited!! *open, open, open*

Pre-Race jitters

I've been having lots of pre-race jitters. Mostly to get to the race already and surround myself with that unbelievably awesome vibe that will carry me through 13.1 miles. Then I know those jitters will mold into something else as the race begins, through the first few miles/halfway point, etc. You would think this is my first half marathon when it's really my 2nd! To help me think a little more clearly, keep me motivated, and my chin up, I went to the internet to find some quotes. 


Here are a few that definitely meant a little something to me: 


"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." 
~ John Bingham


"Running is not, as it so often seems, only about what you did in your last race or about how many miles you ran last week. It is, in a much more important way, about community, about appreciating all the miles run by other runners, too." 
~Richard O'Brien


"I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." 
~Mike Fanelli


"To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you." 


"If you can dream it, you can do it." 
~Walt Disney


In just a matter of hours, I'll be one of thousands all there with the same fears, the same hopes and the same dreams--and together we will be able to achieve them all. Let's do this!! 

We've come a long way, baby

April and I were commenting today about how far we have come in our training.

Last September, we struggled through our first 10K. Struggled as in I had to walk some of the 6+ miles. Now a 6 or 7 mile run is no problem at all.

Today is "National Running Day", not sure if it was a motivator or anything, but all three of us went out and ran individually. And each of us did over 3 miles.

We have our race on Saturday and I KNOW each one of us is going to accomplish one of our goals, be it a better time, less walking, more running, etc.

And one or more of us may have registered for another half marathon in October :-)

We've come a long way baby, and I can't wait to continue!

Countdown is really on

We are really down to the nitty-gritty of this race. We have less than a week to show off all of our hard work and dedication. I've been thinking a lot lately about what this half means to me. It's so different this time around. First off, I have trained much harder than last year. I can honestly say that I just ran last year to get me out of the house. If I didn't, I'd often find myself curled up in a ball of tears grieving over the loss of my mom. It really helped me through those  hard days. I was able to shift my focus to something more about ME. I was able to lose myself for 5, 10 or even 30 minutes at a time when I needed it most. I also have to give big props out to the other two ladies. If it weren't for them pushing me to just get out there as little or as often as I could, I wouldn't have even shown up for that race. I had no shame that I walked close to the last half of that race. What kept me going was that I knew I had quite a cheering section waiting for me and I didn't want to let them down. 

This time around I still don't want to let them down. My expectations are so much higher. I don't want to have to walk if I don't have to. I want to run as much and as long as possible all while shaving off some significant time off of the last race. I know that it isn't the end of the world if I do, but I hope to not. I know that now I am more mentally and physically prepared (even though many days I feel like I'm not). And I know that once again I couldn't be here if it weren't for my loyal and faithful running buddies. Without them, I'd still be sitting on the couch just dreaming of trying to accomplish yet another half marathon. I am grateful for their patience, strength, support and many, many laughs. You two make this all the more worth it. 

{You can all expect me to be one sobbing mess as I cross that finish line because I'm very emotional like that. Let's hope that whoever captures that photo gets my good side, lol.}

One week

Oh good Lord, we have one more week until race day...

Another quote & ramble

A Facebook friend had posted this as her status update today and basically sums up a lot of what I have been feeling during my training.

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I think I will always be a ball of nerves until this race is completely over and I have crossed that finish line in one piece and no major injuries. I started out this journey completely scared to go running by myself early in the morning (or late at night). I would quickly get over that fear as I just wanted to go as long as I could (most of the time I gave myself a 5 minute time limit or marker like the end of the block). The fears then worked up to how to last 3-4 miles with one or two kids in the double stroller without too many stops. When I could get at least one decent run out of 3 then I considered myself successful because after all, I made the effort and that's what counts.

Now as we head into crunch time I still can't fathom how I am going to last 13.1 miles. Sure I got through 12+ last weekend but that was only supposed to be a practice run. This is the real deal. I know I will dig deep and be more prepared (better warm-up and not to forget my Gu Chomps!).

So here it is, I am doing something every day that scares me. I am mentally and physically preparing for an incredible milestone: to complete another 1/2 marathon and shave off as much time as I can (and if I can keep up with the other two Speedy Gonzales' then that's an accomplishment that I never thought could ever happen!).

Hello My Name is...

I can only think of a handful of times in my life where I have really wanted to quit. Throw my hands in the air, walk away, and never look back.

* My junior year of high school my softball coach tried to turn me into a pitcher. I am not a pitcher. Not even close. I could never get the wrist flick necessary to make the ball go more than .01 mph over the plate. Needless to say, we lost every single game that year. Every.single.game. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit softball and never look back.

I didn't. That summer my little league all star team traveled to Arizona to play in a regional championship tournament. One of the most memorable sporting accomplishments of my life.

* My first semester at Cal. After enduring a semester of walking across campus between classes-- no one had mentioned that I should take a look at the campus map when planning/selecting my classes. Across campus = a little over a mile. UP HILL. Did I mention I had TEN MINUTES. No one told me to look at the finals schedule either when picking classes. As a result, I ended up with FOUR final exams...over TWO days. I had never been so stressed out, exhausted, and overwhelmed in my life. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit. Throw my hands in the air, walk away, and never look back.

I didn't. Many semesters later, I would walk across the stage twice. Once for my undergrad degree and again for my master's degree.

* Giving birth to my first son, Ty. After a relatively quick and easy labor I was faced with a challenging delivery. Three hours of pushing and no baby. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit.

I didn't. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Thirty minutes later, my beautiful son FINALLY entered the world.

And lastly, Saturday.

I went into the practice run feeling very confident. I felt great through mile eight. Nine. Around mile ten I could really feel the pain in my hip. My whole lower body ached. I couldn't see the finish line. Like, REALLY couldn't see the finish line. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit. Walk. Hitch hike. Hop on someone's back. Crawl. Anything OTHER THAN run. Fortunately, I had Rachel there to tell me no walking. WE can do this. I thought she was crazy. I couldn't see an end in sight. EVERYTHING hurt. I thought "I AM NOT A RUNNER"...what am I doing. How did I get here.

If you were to ask me if I am a runner, I would reluctantly answer. Sort of. In my mind: runners hop out of bed, throw on their shoes, and run. No mental debates fought between one's self. Run. Not run. Stay in bed. Run. For me, there is ALWAYS a mental debate. A million other things I'd rather do. But in the end, I usually run. Saying you are a runner comes with expectations. Runners don't quit. I REALLY wanted to quit. Runners exhibit perseverance, determination, courage, strength. They set out to accomplish a goal...and do it.

I didn't quit. I crossed the finish. Feeling slightly down and mad at myself for wanting to quit. Only to find out that the course was longer than expected. I had run further than I thought. I had done it. I had finished. Hours later, I found myself thinking about our practice run. Our 12 MILE practice run.

Sports. Running. Why do this? Two kids. A busy, traveling husband. Ultimately, I realize running pushes me to be stronger. Persevere. Determined. Strong. Work towards a goal.

Hello, my name is April. And I am a runner.

"Practice Run"

The store that is organizing the race we are running in had a "practice run" this past weekend. The mileage, 11 1/2 miles, was perfect for where we are in our training, so the three of us made arrangements to be able to run it. I still couldn't believe 11 1/2 miles was a "practice run" for this girl who used to hate running.


I woke up that morning with some nervous energy, mostly nervous about getting to the start location on time. It happened to be where the race would be starting, so I was glad to see where we would be running.


We got to the park in Alameda and about froze our poopers off waiting for the organizers to say "go". It was absolutely amazing to be surrounded by such a variety of women, old, young, mothers, runners, walkers, etc. When we started, we worked our way up in the group to find our pace. I thought we started out a little fast, but we quickly got to a comfortable speed and settled in for our long run.

We chugged along, saw the Oakland Coliseum, the Bay and then rounded a corner and saw an amazing view of the San Francisco skyline, it was beautiful, but super windy.


We kept running and running and running. April checked her Nike + and it said we were around 8 miles, awesome, we felt pretty good and only had 3 1/2 miles to go.


We crossed a bridge and thought we had about 2 more miles. At this point, we were both pretty tired and ready to be done. We put one foot in front of the other, figuring we can push through the next two miles.


We kept running and running and running. I think I told April that this seemed like the longest 2 miles of my life.


We finally rounded the corner to the park and saw the red tent. We gave it all we had to get across that finish line. We finally made it!


April checked her Nike +. It said 12.22.


12.22

WHAT?!

We thought her Nike + was just a bit off. Then more people started crossing the finish line and their Garmins, Nike +, etc. said 12 plus miles. We realized we had just ran over 12 miles. Less than one more mile and we would have finished our 2nd half marathon.

So, come June 5th, we will "technically" be running our 3rd half marathon. And, if the course and participants are anything like what we saw this weekend, I can't wait.

Running Quote

This quote has ended up being the topic of conversation this week:

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no

...membership card to get. You just run."

--John Bingham

I've come a long way, baby!

This past weekend SJR had organized a practice run along the course. I jumped at the opportunity---I knew we needed to get a long run in, but how awesome was it that we would be running the race route as well? It was perfect timing and very exciting.

We made our way out to the meeting spot and were anxious to get really moving---it was COLD & windy out! I pretty much lost sight of my running buddies from the get-go. I could see them bobbing up and down but the trail was narrow and I got quickly fed up with weaving in and out of people. So I cranked up my tunes and set out to focus on just getting to the first landmark. I didn't want to stay too anxious over it being cold and the fact that I wasn't with my buddies. I made sure to focus all my mental energy to something else--trying to sing along with whatever song came on, check out the others' cool running gear, heck I even kept trying to figure out some of the tattoos that I saw around me. If I started to lose focus and start thinking about what might be hurting or maybe I should stop, then I'd just tell myself to run until the end of the current song.

Pretty soon I found myself at my first stop---an intersection. I made myself NOT push my little button to tell me how far I had gone or what my pace was but about 1/4 mile after that intersection the suspense was killing me. It was close to 4 miles! Now that may seem like chump change to some, but it was a LOT to me. I made it through all that time without constantly checking my iPod...and what was even more amazing: I FELT AWESOME! I kept chugging away and taking in the sights. I stopped at one of the bigger water stops and grabbed some Gatorade. I thought this would be perfect for my new packet of Gu Chomps. But I turned my pack inside out and found none. :( Great job, Erica--you left it back in the car. Ok, don't panic--I will just keep on plugging away and see how far I go. Almost 8 miles later, I checked my handy dandy iPod and came across an amazing view of the bay and SF. I snapped a quick picture and saw that I was getting close to where we back-track to the starting area. I had to admit that I got a little too overconfident here. I had the BIGGEST grin on my face. I was already congratulating myself on a job well done...but I had yet to even finish.

This is where I started to really feel the exhaustion and achy muscles. I just wanted to get close enough and maybe walk a bit if needed to. And I did...but that walk was THE LONGEST WALK EVER!! I remember seeing a 2-mile marker and it was loooooong past when I might have made that 2 mile mark. I was done at this point...I even texted the other two girls. This was ridiculous---where was the dang park?! I moaned and groaned my way back and FINALLY saw that big red tent. I was seriously never so happy to see it. 

While stretching and some chit-chat with the girls, I just couldn't help but feel so dang proud of all the little milestones that I accomplished on this long run. This is so much more mental for me than physical. I have every excuse going through my head as to why I should stop, why I should've never signed up for another race or why I am not meant to be a runner. While there are some things that I wish I could've done better along that run, the end is the same: I am still so dang proud. I did it. And I did it better than I ever thought I could. Twelve weeks ago I was not prepared for this race. I can look back at emails and they are filled with lots of motivating words from April & Rachel: 'No excuses! Just go for 5 minutes. Great job on 2 miles!' 

I've come a very long way, baby! All the colds, flu bugs, and injuries that occurred along the way, I still did it. I had such doubt...ok, I still have a lot of doubt that I can do this again in 2 weeks, but really I was already thinking I was just going to somehow write off the 40-some dollars for the registration. But I stuck with it---my goals changed over the course of training. I had originally wanted to match the other girls' times...but in the end I knew I couldn't. Now my goal is just to shave off as much time as I can from my previous race. I know I will do that because I am better prepared. I just can't get off this high I am on from yesterday's run. :) I made it---and seriously couldn't have done it without the other two. (Also don't know how they have put up with me this long, lol.) Now to just keep this positive mentality going for two more weeks! ACK! :)

Two Things Everyone Should Do Once...

1. Run the Bay to Breakers. Nothing like the experience of running with 60,000 other people. Our view from the start. It literally took just over two miles for the crowd to thin out:
2. Run said race in a tutu and knee high socks:

A Secret Running Affair

I have been secretly running with a new running partner. You see, a week ago, I aggravated my hip flexor. I saw an athletic trainer and was told I had strained it. To rest. To do certain stretches. Um...Idonotthinkso. Three weeks before the half that I have been training for MONTHS. There was no way I was going to throw in the towel. I figured, at the very worst, I would hobble my way across the finish line before they closed down the course. Quitting was not an option.

A few running homies suggested I look into a foam roller. I did. And while in the aisle I spotted what would become my new love. The Marathon Stick aka torturous muscle massaging device sworn on by the associate at Sports Basement. He looked like a very in-shape guy. He claimed to have run marathons and said the stick was a must have. Desperation took over. I bought it. Shocking, I know.

And you know what, it's truly amazing. Painful, but amazing. I am all about gimicks and gadgets. I am a sucker, I completely realize that. So, it will come as no surprise that I also splurged on a pair of Reebok Easy Tone shoes after reading that simply wearing them will tone my butt, thin my thighs, and help me lose weight. Well, one week later. I've gained two pounds, my ass feels bigger than normal, and my thighs hate me.

No really. The shoes are comfortable. I don't, however, believe that they do anything remotely miraculous. People are losing weight and toning up because they are likely walking more in the shoes than they were prior to buying them. All this said, I still wear them. And hope. Total sucker. That's me.

Getting scared

I thought it was the fact that I have been trying to get over a chest cold that kept me from logging in any miles, but I think it's something more. I'm getting scared. Scared to the point where I'm hitting a wall that has me questioning my decision to keep running and actually finishing the race coming up. I won't lie---this is where my anxiety starts really climbing. I'm doubting my every move---can I really run this race? What if I get a cramp? What if I hurt myself? What if something worse happens? I know I will be surrounded by so many in the same boat and all I have to do is just give what I can. 


I ran 3 miles because I had some time and the weather was perfect. Even though I had a great music set coming thru my earphones, I still couldn't shake all the questions. What on Earth did I get myself into?! This is when solo runs aren't very fun. I can distract myself somewhat with music, but my mind will still keep coming up with crazy and worrisome thoughts. 


Ack--I just need to get this out in hopes that it will calm me down. I know that as it gets closer and I log on more miles I might feel better. But if I don't feel better, I just need to believe that I gave it my all. I surrounded myself with 2 amazing running partners who were there for me until the end. I can do this...right?! Right?! 

What I won't do again...

I absolutely love my running shoes, Asics 2140. I wore them to train for and run my first half, and when they wore down, I wanted to get the same pair.

The thing about running shoes, any athletic shoe really, they are expensive. So I decided to search the wonderful world of the world wide web and see if I could find my shoes for a cheaper price, and I did! Shoes.com had my exact pair of shoes for much less then I would spend in a shoe store, so I ordered them.

When they arrived, I couldn't wait to go out for my first run. It went great! Woohoo! Then I started increasing my distance and noticed I was getting a blister in the same spot (my arch) every time I ran 5 miles or longer. Fabulous. I'm training for a 13.1 mile run and am continually getting blisters. I tried new socks, changing up the way I laced my shoes, nothing was working.

Now when I head out for a run, I have to use these wonderful tools (because I am too cheap to buy new shoes!):

First I lube up my arch with some Body Glide...

then wrap my foot in this tape.

So, what won't I do again? Buy shoes from any place other than a store dedicated to running shoes. Painful lesson to learn!!

Learning to Run and Drink...at the Same Time

I have scoured running blogs looking for a secret recipe of water and supplement. Searched high and wide to see what successful runners eat the morning of a big race, the night before, and DURING the race. Ultimately, the consensus seemed to be water and Gu (or some related supplement).

During the first half, I attempted to run and drink water simultaneously...only to end up wearing the majority of the water. I ran the majority of the race scared to drink water, fearing side cramps. So...I didn't drink, at all, until mile 11 or 12 and by then it was too late. I was dehydrated. I had waited too long. I vowed this time to train to hydrate. Not so easy.

I headed out on a long run and attempted to drink water at about the five mile mark. Fail. Major side cramps.

I headed out for a second run and attempted to eat a Gu. I immediately wanted to vomit. The consistency and taste did not agree with me. And I got major side cramps.

The morning of our eight mile run, I tried a new breakfast: a bowl of oatmeal, half a bagel think with peanut butter, and a small Gatorade. I felt awesome going into the run. At the six mile mark, we took a Gu chomp with some water- small sips this time. NO side cramps...and I felt awesome for the rest of the run. And afterwards. I think I may have found MY winning combination. Finally.