Addicted

I am leaving for a weekend away today. As I was packing my suitcase last night, I almost considered bringing my running stuff in my carry-on, just in case my luggage got lost, at least I would be able to run.

Yea, I'm addicted.

One week later

It's been one week since the three of us conquered our 2nd half marathon. I had continued to ride an amazing high for quite a few days after. I was in awe of all the goals we had completed. I glowed from the ever-so-wonderful sunburn I got (lesson learned: must NOT forget sunscreen). And I still got teary-eyed as I could still hear the cheers crossing that finish line. 


I've taken a week off from any sort of running and I can already feel the itch to get back out there. How is it that at one time in my life I shot down any and all suggestions that running was FUN? I can say that I miss just knowing that all I have to do is to go out and see how far and how long I can go. I miss our group runs--it really is the best therapy. And I miss the anticipation of another event to look forward to (or dread depending on my mood). I guess I am leaving that door wide open for some arm-twisting to sign up for a Fall race. Oh dear. Did I just say that?? ;) 

Running with an Angel in my pocket

I hope it is ok that I share this, but it was such a special part of my race on Saturday that I don't want to not mention it.

Erica had a pretty devastating event in her life not too long ago, she lost her Mom. I can't imagine what she has endured because I haven't been in her shoes, but I have tried to be there for her.

When we got out of the car on Saturday morning before the race, Erica pulled something out of her bag and held it in her hand. I took one look at the two angel pins she had and, instantly knew what they were for. And instantly started crying. As did Erica and April. Both April and I took the pins from Erica's hand and put them on. I will never forget what Erica said "I love that both of you know and I don't have to say anything".

Yes, running has brought us together, but I know that we have forged a friendship that, God forbid, if we were never able to run again, we will remain friends for the rest of our lives.

Erica, thank you for letting me be a part of your life. I can't tell you how many times I reached into my pocket on Saturday hoping for an extra little push when I felt that pin, and every single time I felt it, it pushed me on mile after mile.

Thank you both for being my friend.

What I've Learned...

My goals for the first half last October were simple: finish. And don't die. No pressure. No expectations. Just run as far as I can for as long as I can. I figured the absolute worse thing that could happen is that I walk. I had a finishing goal in my head but not having ever ran a half before it didn't really mean much.

This time was different. I was aware of the distance. The pain I would feel towards the end. The fact that it would feel like I was running with cinder blocks attached to my feet for the last couple miles. I didn't go into this race as confidently as I had hoped. The practice run kicked my ass. I struggled through the twelve mile practice route. Like, REALLY struggled. Somewhere between the finish of our last half and training for this one, I got it in my head that I would run a half under two hours. Likely not this one, but one nonetheless. Someday. After the practice run, I kicked myself for thinking a sub-two hour half was possible. We ran the twelve miles in 1:56. Unless my deep deeeeeeeeep routed Kenyan genes kicked in at some point, there was no way I was going to knock out a three minute mile to come in at 1:59.

I wasn't nervous as the race started. I was excited. I felt great. I felt naked without my Nike+ and had no way of knowing how fast I was going or pacing myself. I figured this might just be a hidden blessing as my body would lead the pace and determine how fast I go or when I pull back. I hadn't planned on running any of this race by myself. In fact, after our practice run I figured I would be doing all I could to keep up with Rachel. Between a crowded foot bridge, narrow path, and overgrown weeds I lost Rachel around mile three. I was in no way prepared to run ten miles solo. I would learn that running is more mental than physical and that your mind can really carry you through when your body feels as though it can no longer.

I felt strong through miles eight, nine, ten...and then hit a wall at mile eleven. My legs felt like they each weighed a hundred pounds. Each step reminded of the painful blisters that had formed on both feet. My hips were angry at me. I told myself that if this were easy, everyone would be doing it. I coaxed myself to suck it up. I tried everything imaginable to keep my mind off the fact that EVERYTHING hurt. Consider yourself lucky that you weren't anywhere near me to hear me completely butcher Vanilla Ice Ice Baby. Dun dun dun da dun dun. I thought of my boys. I thought of how one day I will have to give them a pep talk on never giving up. Working through the pain. And I thought of how I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite. I had to do this for them. I had do this for me. I worked too hard to NOT leave it all on the table. So I kept going. I didn't slow down even though I wanted to DESPERATELY. In my mind I was a leaping, galloping gazelle. In reality, I was a plodding, heavy footed *insert animal*.

As soon as I could see the finish I started to tear up. I had done this. Again. And I knew I had done it faster than last time. I couldn't see the time clock as there was an amazing crowd lining the finish. As I stepped over the mats I could see my time in the corner of my eye. 2:01:30.

I learned that ANYTHING is possible when you put your MIND to it. While I cursed myself for not running 1:31 faster, I realized that a sub-two hour half is in fact VERY possible. And I will do it. I will keep running until I do.

As I waited for Rachel and Erica to finish I stood at the finish line and marveled at the diversity of runners. All different ages, sizes, abilities. Moms and daughters finishing with their arms around each other. Women hurting from their heads to their toes but smiling as they crossed the finish. I found it to be the most inspiring show of strength, courage, perseverance, and athleticism. I am quite certain that everyone overcame something that day. But no matter the obstacle or challenge, we all crossed that finish line. Watching Erica and Rachel cross the finish line filled me with the utmost pride and admiration. This journey has forged a friendship that can't be expressed in poetry or prose. They have seen me at my absolute worse and helped pushed me through when I needed it the most. They have taught me strength. I marvel at their busy lives and ability to train.

The training most certainly isn't always fun. Or easy. There were countless times I thought we were crazy. But because of them. Because of the training. The pain. The sacrifices. I have experienced the absolutely priceless feeling of crossing that finish line. Twice. And learned that I can do more than I ever thought.

Isn't it purdy?!

Isn't it purdy?

I did it...again. All the excitement, nerves and HARD work certainly paid off. While I am my own worst critic, I only shaved off 13 minutes from the half last October. It wasn't as much as I wanted, but in the end I felt stronger, more confident, and empowered to beat that time (when? I have no idea--but I will be shooting for 2:20 for my next race). 


This race meant so much to me. Last year, I was in a different place. I was running to focus back on me. I wanted to lose myself in the runs rather than losing myself in grief. I wanted so badly to have something else take the place of the pain I was feeling and sure enough wearing the wrong shoes, running in HOT weather, and being a 1st-timer, I accomplished that. But it was more than that, I had two wonderful friends show me something that I didn't know existed. Being with them showed me that yes, I could do what I thought was unthinkable. I could finish a half marathon. It didn't matter if I ran a quarter of it or not, the fact that I started it AND finished it was an accomplishment in itself. They were there to listen to me whine, lift me up when I was feeling down, and cheer me on whenever I passed a HUGE milestone. 


I ran this race with some of the most special women in my life in mind. I ran for April & Rachel. I wanted to prove to them that no matter how big or small my goals, I could do it. I have such admiration for all they do. It was a way for me to honor them. I ran for my mom. She helped me through some of my long runs and she helped me through this one. She is my guardian angel and I hope that I can make her proud for all of my accomplishments. I ran for my sisters, my mother-in-law and several friends, who have all been through so many different life experiences---and each of them handled theirs with amazing strength and grace. It was for ALL of these women and more that I ran for. 


I was an emotional mess as I turned that corner and saw the big FINISH archway. It had all come down to this. Hundreds of screaming people pushing me on--and the loudest of the bunch: April & Rachel. They knew I'd be sobbing--heck I was already teary at mile 4! I can't put into words all the amazing feelings I had. I am humbled that I can finally consider myself a runner. I still have my moments where I don't think I belong alongside them and they are there to knock some sense back into me. I am just eternally grateful for everything they have done to help me realize who I am and what I mean to people. 


And to all the other women in my life: I really couldn't have done it without you all. You all mean so much to me that I hope to continue to honor you in whatever way I know how. The sweat, pain, and tears are worth every bit for having you all in my life. 


Now, let's do this again EVERY year. :) 

We did it

Our second half marathon is done. Each one of us crossed the finish line. It was an absolutely amazing, emotional, exhausting experience, but we did it and I couldn't be more proud or more happy.

I had three goals for this race:

1. Keep up with April.
2. Run the entire thing, all 13.1 miles.
3. Finish under 2 hours 10 minutes.

Here's how it went:

1. I lost April at about mile 3. She was a rockstar. A serious rockstar and I knew, if I tried to keep up with her, there was no way I was going to meet my other two goals. (During our first half, I was able to hang with April until about mile 7, this time, not so much. Did I mention she is a rock star?!). Goal number 1, FAIL.

2. After I lost April, I started to doubt myself. How was I going to run the next 10 miles (10 MILES?!?!!?) by myself. Yea, I had my IPod, but 10 miles, good Lord. But then I remembered why I was doing this, how far I had come and how many times I had done some long runs by myself. Guess what? I did it. I ran each and every one of those 13.1 miles. Goal number 2, SUCCESS!

3. It was around mile 8 that I started to get tired. Really, really tired. I was doing anything and everything I could to distract myself from thinking about how tired my legs were, how thirsty I was, how much my feet hurt, etc. etc. There was a water station at mile 8, and there were some inspirational signs posted there. The one that hit me was from Eleanor Roosevelt, "You must do the things you think you cannot do", hit me so hard I had tears in my eyes. I was going to run this thing and, gosh darn it, I was going to push myself to do it under 2 hours 10 minutes. Then all of the sudden I saw the 10 mile marker, I seriously did the happy dance in my head, I WAS ALMOST DONE!!! I struggled through those last three miles, I'm not going to lie. I was ready to throw in the towel, then I turned the corner, saw the clock, it said "2:09:something". WHAT?! I was sooooooooo close. I turned it on and crossed the finish line in 2 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds. 2 HOURS, 10 MINUTES AND 4 SECONDS. 25 minutes faster then my first half marathon. I did it. Goal number 3, SUCCESS!!

April (aka, rockstar, who, by the way, finished about 10 minutes before me) was there when I crossed and gave me a hug. I started sobbing. I did it. All that hard work was done. In 2 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds.

We went and stretched and then headed to the finish line to watch for Erica. And then she appeared. Tears streaming down her face. April and I started crying, and cheering, loud, I mean really loud. And she did it. Crossed that finish line and had the next, at least 4 women next to us, in tears also.

The three of us met up, hugged, cried and then started celebrating. We all crossed that finish line. We did it. And I couldn't be happier.

All Ready to GO...

I am not nervous. I am not scared. I am ready. And so so so excited!! *open, open, open*

Pre-Race jitters

I've been having lots of pre-race jitters. Mostly to get to the race already and surround myself with that unbelievably awesome vibe that will carry me through 13.1 miles. Then I know those jitters will mold into something else as the race begins, through the first few miles/halfway point, etc. You would think this is my first half marathon when it's really my 2nd! To help me think a little more clearly, keep me motivated, and my chin up, I went to the internet to find some quotes. 


Here are a few that definitely meant a little something to me: 


"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." 
~ John Bingham


"Running is not, as it so often seems, only about what you did in your last race or about how many miles you ran last week. It is, in a much more important way, about community, about appreciating all the miles run by other runners, too." 
~Richard O'Brien


"I tell our runners to divide the race into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." 
~Mike Fanelli


"To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you." 


"If you can dream it, you can do it." 
~Walt Disney


In just a matter of hours, I'll be one of thousands all there with the same fears, the same hopes and the same dreams--and together we will be able to achieve them all. Let's do this!! 

We've come a long way, baby

April and I were commenting today about how far we have come in our training.

Last September, we struggled through our first 10K. Struggled as in I had to walk some of the 6+ miles. Now a 6 or 7 mile run is no problem at all.

Today is "National Running Day", not sure if it was a motivator or anything, but all three of us went out and ran individually. And each of us did over 3 miles.

We have our race on Saturday and I KNOW each one of us is going to accomplish one of our goals, be it a better time, less walking, more running, etc.

And one or more of us may have registered for another half marathon in October :-)

We've come a long way baby, and I can't wait to continue!

Countdown is really on

We are really down to the nitty-gritty of this race. We have less than a week to show off all of our hard work and dedication. I've been thinking a lot lately about what this half means to me. It's so different this time around. First off, I have trained much harder than last year. I can honestly say that I just ran last year to get me out of the house. If I didn't, I'd often find myself curled up in a ball of tears grieving over the loss of my mom. It really helped me through those  hard days. I was able to shift my focus to something more about ME. I was able to lose myself for 5, 10 or even 30 minutes at a time when I needed it most. I also have to give big props out to the other two ladies. If it weren't for them pushing me to just get out there as little or as often as I could, I wouldn't have even shown up for that race. I had no shame that I walked close to the last half of that race. What kept me going was that I knew I had quite a cheering section waiting for me and I didn't want to let them down. 

This time around I still don't want to let them down. My expectations are so much higher. I don't want to have to walk if I don't have to. I want to run as much and as long as possible all while shaving off some significant time off of the last race. I know that it isn't the end of the world if I do, but I hope to not. I know that now I am more mentally and physically prepared (even though many days I feel like I'm not). And I know that once again I couldn't be here if it weren't for my loyal and faithful running buddies. Without them, I'd still be sitting on the couch just dreaming of trying to accomplish yet another half marathon. I am grateful for their patience, strength, support and many, many laughs. You two make this all the more worth it. 

{You can all expect me to be one sobbing mess as I cross that finish line because I'm very emotional like that. Let's hope that whoever captures that photo gets my good side, lol.}