Ever have those moments where everything was going just smoothly until BAM! You've hit the biggest pothole known to man and it's thrown you for the biggest loop, you don't know up from down? Well, that's how I've been feeling lately. I took another break from running. Yup, did my usual in letting myself take back seat. I didn't beat myself too much over it because it's that time of year with the holidays and all its craziness. I would do whatever I could squeeze in and try not to complain too much about missing workouts.
I did one workout last week to jumpstart myself and clear my head. I needed to recalibrate my Nike+ and since I got a little irritated at it not calibrating an EASY 1/4 mile walk, I turned it off and just went on my merry way. Two days later, I went for a run. My head was in a bit of a fog and I felt in funk so I just went out with the thought process of 'I don't care about my pace. I don't care about the distance. I *do* care about going for 30 minutes.' And I did. I went out hard. Had my lungs and my legs burning in no time. I even puttered out so I couldn't run up the hill back home, but I didn't care. I got out there and did what I told myself to do. All was good & I felt so much better.
Now this is where my best laid plans get all screwy. Planned a weekend run with my good buddies but other things got in the way (too personal to discuss here). I had planned to go out that day before the rain started and nasty tummy bug hit one of my little guys. No sleep, constantly doing the laundry and a few extra showers to get the funk out were the only things on the agenda. When I finally got some decent sleep that night (or what I thought was decent sleep), I was woken up by my husband in excruciating pain on his way to the ER for another bout of kidney stones. Rescheduled run for Sunday was put off one more day in hopes that the pain meds would keep him comfortable, the little one had kept more food down than in previous hours, and that I could get a little more rest.
Well, today looked to be promising but we spent more than half the day in the ER and the kids are as needy as ever seeing that mommy & daddy haven't been around much in the past 2+ days. I am beyond exhausted. I could've thrown on my running shoes after finally getting the kids to bed an hour after lights were turned out, but instead I use what little energy I have left to jot down my thoughts.
I often wonder when it's times like these where I have started to get myself into a good head space and my body is feeling nothing but greatness, why I can't catch that dang break. Why do I have to be broken down and run (no pun intended) on fumes? I get that in our crazy busy lives of being SAHM or working moms that we need to make time for ourselves, but do I really need an extra double-dose of stress to work around? It's so hard to keep telling myself that 'this, too, shall pass' and to just 'try, try again'. I'm tired. I'm burned out from burned out. And at this point, all I want for Christmas is dang sleep.
Vent over.
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