Running for Mom

This post might not seem like it, but it really does have to do with running. Today is a very special day to me. It is my mom's birthday--now I realize that every moms birthday is special, but my mom passed away very suddenly and tragically in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I have been trying to muster up all the strength I have in me to face today. I remember that this time last year, I was still in shock that she was gone. This year I wanted to commit myself to doing something either in honor of her, or something for me that I knew she'd appreciate. Since it was almost too painful for me to do something for her or in honor of her, I decided to make it day doing something for me.

I started out my day with a run. I hadn't run since last week because of no motivation and a lovely bout of a stomach bug. I was ready. I was excited. I was bound and determined to get out there no matter what. There were so many things holding me back though. Late start, possibly too big of a breakfast, other errands to run, landscaping being done on the trail, but most of all, the daunting task of pushing a fully loaded double stroller (complete with 2 HEAVY preschoolers). As I got my handy dandy Nike+ turned on, I just felt AMAZING! My boys were exceptionally good to me---only 3 stops for snacks and littering.

As I hit one of my strides, I just said to myself, 'Ok, mom. Help me through the next mile. Don't let me lose this. I want to show you I can & will do it'. I thought all about her. I thought about what she would say when I would tell her some exciting news. I thought about the stories she used to share. I remember her hugs and the way she held my hand. And I kept plugging away still asking her all along to not let me give up and walk. As I finished, the tears came. Very quickly and they didn't last long, but they were there. I know she wouldn't want me to be sad today and I am trying my hardest to not be. I had her with me on that run---an unbelievably GREAT run and that was special in itself.