Running for Mom

This post might not seem like it, but it really does have to do with running. Today is a very special day to me. It is my mom's birthday--now I realize that every moms birthday is special, but my mom passed away very suddenly and tragically in a car accident almost 2 years ago. I have been trying to muster up all the strength I have in me to face today. I remember that this time last year, I was still in shock that she was gone. This year I wanted to commit myself to doing something either in honor of her, or something for me that I knew she'd appreciate. Since it was almost too painful for me to do something for her or in honor of her, I decided to make it day doing something for me.

I started out my day with a run. I hadn't run since last week because of no motivation and a lovely bout of a stomach bug. I was ready. I was excited. I was bound and determined to get out there no matter what. There were so many things holding me back though. Late start, possibly too big of a breakfast, other errands to run, landscaping being done on the trail, but most of all, the daunting task of pushing a fully loaded double stroller (complete with 2 HEAVY preschoolers). As I got my handy dandy Nike+ turned on, I just felt AMAZING! My boys were exceptionally good to me---only 3 stops for snacks and littering.

As I hit one of my strides, I just said to myself, 'Ok, mom. Help me through the next mile. Don't let me lose this. I want to show you I can & will do it'. I thought all about her. I thought about what she would say when I would tell her some exciting news. I thought about the stories she used to share. I remember her hugs and the way she held my hand. And I kept plugging away still asking her all along to not let me give up and walk. As I finished, the tears came. Very quickly and they didn't last long, but they were there. I know she wouldn't want me to be sad today and I am trying my hardest to not be. I had her with me on that run---an unbelievably GREAT run and that was special in itself.

Keeping up with the Joneses

Well, in this case, not really the Joneses, but keeping up with my running partner and fellow blogger, April.

My goal for this next race is to run THE WHOLE THING with April. I wasn't able to do this in my first half, there was an unexpected hill that absolutely killed me. Like I-couldn't-recover-and-ended-up-run/walking-the-last-5-ish-miles-of-the-race, killed me.

But not this time, this time it is on.

And it turns out I have a little bit of a competitive side. Who knew?

April, Erica and I have been logging our miles on dailymile.com, which then gets posted to Facebook.

On Saturday, I saw a post:

"April ran 7.04 miles in 1 hour and 3 mins and felt good."

Holy cow, was I ever impressed. And then felt instantly defeated. How the hell was I going to keep up with her? She's already at 7 miles and a fast 7 miles at that.

Then I decided to grab the bull by the horns.

I headed out for my run on Sunday morning. I wanted to finish at least 6 miles and was going to time myself to see if I was anywhere near her time.

My post on Sunday:

"Rachel ran 6.22 miles in 1 hour and 3 mins and felt great."

Pretty big confidence booster I must say. I was dealing with an incredible head wind and all around yucky weather, so I think I could have gone faster if not for those obstacles.

Turns out, I just might be able to hang with her for those 13.1 miles. I can't wait to find out.

Mind games & Lady Marmalade

I am kind of piggy-backing on April's post. If it isn't an injury that plagues me from running, it's the mind games that will do it. I can usually come up with a half dozen of them before I've even gotten my running shoes on. Lately, I have had the recovery of my injured back, having to push the Beast with two not so eager running buddies, or even the thought of I just can't keep up so why bother on my mind. April sent a nice link to an article all about being able to run past your mental blocks. It really hit the nail on the head for me...and in turn lit a fire. I just needed to try and get out there. I needed to stop worrying about the mileage for once and maybe just try for time. The other day, I did just that. I knew the boys didn't really want to be cooped up in the Beast for 45 min to an hour, so I just went for 30 minutes. They gave me that much--and I repaid them with a few laps around the neighborhood track. By letting go of some of the stress of adding miles, I had a great run and an added bonus was playing chase around the track that also helped my mileage. And because I wasn't stressing over every little twinge or looking at my pace, etc. I felt GREAT afterwards!

Now fast forward to this morning...as I lay awake at 3am or so, all I kept thinking about was how on Earth am I going to get enough sleep to try and tackle a 5-miler in about 5 hours? The forecast was rather grim--lots of rain, cold, wind, possible thunderstorms & hail. In my mind, I had all valid excuses to just scrap the entire plan. Luckily, I got back to sleep and even slept in a little later than usual. It wasn't until the hubs asked me the daunting question, "Are you still going out to run?" I wanted to answer, 'No' sooooooo badly. Instead, I said, 'Yes. And I'll go as far as I can go before the weather turns nasty'. I kept in mind the article from earlier this week as I got ready. If I get to go the full 5 miles, great---if not, it's OK. Because in the end, I do NOT want to injure myself any more.

I proudly made it 2 miles and I have to say, felt DARN good! But, then I saw it...the dreaded hill. *sigh* Oh, and just as an added bonus, there's a pretty tough headwind. I hit my powersong button and made my way up...and up....and up. When that song wasn't enough, thank goodness, Lady Marmalade was. I suddenly had the biggest smile on my face and even though I was huffing & puffing, I had some big laughs, too. This song transported me back to many bachelorette parties and one very memorable karaoke performance at a family wedding. Once the song was done, I looked around and I had done it. I had conquered that ding-dang hill, the headwind, and on my way to completing 5 miles.

I am so proud of the long way I've come this week. I could've easily scrapped all plans of any runs, but I overcame them all. And knowing that I have done that makes the slightly scary & nervewrecking realization that this half marathon is very much around the corner, a little easier to swallow.

I did it

I seriously would shout this from the rooftops if I could:

I reached lifetime status at Weight Watchers today!!!

To reach lifetime, you have to reach your goal weight and then maintain it within 2 pounds for 6 weeks.

I did it.

30 pounds GONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!