Today, I gave up

Waved the white flag (or towel as it was). Threw in said towel.


I had high hopes for today's work out. As I was carrying my bag up the flight of stairs to they gym, I was thinking I would aim for 6 or 7, hoping there was something good on tv to distract me from the boringness that is the "dreadmill."

I started out at a 9:30 pace, going for distance today, not time. As I was chugging along, I just didn't feel right, couldn't find a groove or comfortable stride and there was absolutely nothing on tv. I tried slowing down. Speeding up. Stopped to walk for a minute and stretch a screaming Achilles tendon.

Started again, mile one clicked by. Every negative thought entered my mind and I couldn't push them out. I pushed on, sped up, slowed down, d r a g g ed myself through mile 2.

Then I did the unthinkable.

I hit the stop button.

I couldn't do it. I didn't have it today and knew I wasn't going to find it.

I decided to give myself a pass and not get down. We have 11 weeks until our race and every run can't be a good one.

Hoping the next 11 weeks go better then today!

There's a first time for everything

I've been meaning to blog about this for weeks now, but either my computer has been hijacked by my 4 year olds or I'm just too busy forgetful. I had been doing pretty darn good on my resolutions/goals this month. I've been consistent in getting out there at least 3 times a week and also trying very hard not to put a huge amount of pressure on myself. I felt good! And surprisingly relaxed about how to tackle everything from getting us ready and out the door in record times to the big 'uh-oh' moments that would come stumbling our way. This was a big first--woo hoo! 2011 was starting out on the right foot!

My other first was taking a cross-training class. April, being the amazing and uber savvy woman she is, found one being offered every weekend in January for FREE. How could anyone turn that down?! We dragged ourselves out of bed on chilly mornings and took part in what was to make us stronger and more efficient runners (read=a good ass-whooping!). After warm-ups, we did circuits of mountain climbers, planks, sit-ups, push-ups, burpees, squats...if it made us whine and grunt to the end, the trainer made us do it! I won't lie in that the first class almost paralyzed me. I was a little too eager to strut my stuff on planks and squats and it left me beyond sore for 3 days (and by that 3rd day I was kinda liking being sore because that meant I was getting stronger...or so I told myself). We were sad to see it end but walked away with some great tips and advice on how to just work in something different a few days a week. We're hoping to catch up again with the trainer and see if he'll coach us as a group. We'll keep you posted.

I had missed out on one of the training sessions because we headed on down to SoCal for a little vacay. In the itinerary was 3 days at Disneyland so I didn't put too much pressure on myself to work out before because walking around aimlessly in the park could burn some serious calories! But a fire was lit under me and we hadn't been at our destination more than a day and a half and I was chomping at the bit to get to the fitness center. Yes, you heard me right...I haven't wanted to get back on a treadmill so badly as I did during the trip. I kept telling myself that I must be sick. A treadmill is boring. SoCal peeps are gonna be watching me sweat buckets and pound along on that thing. Suddenly, I didn't care. I just wanted to be one with the treadmill. It had a built-in TV screen (goes to show you how long I've been on a treadmill), a place to hook up my iPod if I wanted and best of all it could push me harder than my own mind could (as long as I kept my fingers off the pause button and I did). I caught up on the top 20 videos/music singles of the week (and took notes on which songs need to be added to my playlist) or whatever episodes I missed of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, all while also marking my first long run of the year (yes, it was only 4 miles, but hey, I could've done nothing). I was sad to leave but we already have another trek planned in April so I won't be gone too, too long.

So there you have it...my firsts this year. The momentum has slowed a bit as the viruses have made their presence known and chaos has once again turned me upside down. Luckily, the gorgeous California 'winter' weather is keeping this chin up!

New Year. New Goals.

Ok ok, I realize it is almost the end of January. The new year is almost one month old and I am just now blogging. What can I say, between Christmas, New Years, my husband's birthday, my son's 4th birthday (4?!), I have been busy.

I don't make resolutions. I have in the past and have never been able to keep them. So this year I am setting goals and making a new plan to help achieve my running them.

Goal number 1: Cross train
I am a full time, work-out-of-the-house mom. Add in a (on a good day) one hour each way commute, I have to usually squeeze my workouts in on my lunch hour. In the past, I have always used this time to run, usually on the dreadmill. I want to get faster and stronger and I know the only way to do this is to add some cross training into my training schedule. I have started taking a spinning class at the gym and I add in some pilates after the kids go to bed. FYI, I hate planks.


Goal number 2: Get faster
This year I am going to start AND FINISH a race with April. Did you know we have yet to do that? April is a naturally fast runner. I am not. I am adding some speed workouts to my routine in hopes of staying with her, rather than drafting off of her ;-)

Goal number 3: Run a sub-2 hour half
I am hoping by doing the above, this will be the outcome. I only need to do it once and I will be happy.

Goal number 4: Have fun
During my last half (San Jose Rock and Roll), I threw all expectations out the window. I was going to run the race for fun and I did just that. And you know what? I had fun. Lots of it. Couldn't wipe the smile off my face for days after the race. So, if I reach these goals this year, awesome! If I don't, as long as I am having fun trying, then it will all be worth it.

Reflections & Resolutions

Ah, it's that time of year again. Christmas has come and gone...the mad chaos of the holidays ended as quickly as it came. So now I'm left with thinking of what to do next. As I was reading through my stocking stuffer Runner's World magazine, I kept thinking back to January 2010. The girls and I had started to exchange emails, FB posts and texts about who was running when and where and how the training was going. I really didn't kick start my training for SJR until March which meant I wasn't running more than once or twice a week until then. But I remembered how much I was running during the training and that I was running through the whining and griping of not just my own voice in my head but that of one (or sometimes 2) four year olds sitting in the Beast until I put in my mileage. I tried to think about how I got myself through all the times of self-doubt, heavy legs and whatever other excuse or distraction was looming over me at the time. And one thing kept popping up: it was April & Rachel. Without their motivation and support, I don't think I would've given it the extra push. They have brought out something in me that I really didn't know (or still don't know) existed: a love for running.

If you couldn't tell already, I am really very hard on myself. I am constantly comparing my looks, actions, accomplishments and failures to others. And then I make it worse by wondering what I should be doing to be like them so I don't have to suffer through it over and over. I don't know why I like to torture myself this way but I do. It drives my husband nuts...heck, it drives me nuts, too. But put me next to the girls on an open trail with all the days/weeks/months of gossip, gripes, and latest People magazine cover stories, and I no longer think about the insecurities. There, we are all the same. Three women just putting one foot in front of the other all while enjoying some laughs, asking for advice, and talking about that well-deserved coffee at the end. I feel at home with them there. While we all have different paces, it doesn't matter when we're together. What matters is that we have not only made the time to do something we all enjoy and love, but we made the time to share it with each other. (Yes, I'm also a sentimental and mushy kinda gal.) They've helped me realize that it doesn't matter what my pace is or how many water breaks I take or that I can't really talk and run at the same time. It's all about how I feel in the end. And I do love that running makes me feel more clear, level-headed and energized.

This past year was by far the most accomplished I have felt in a very long time when it comes to running. The amount of time and sweat I poured into training for the 2nd half marathon was unlike anything I had done before. I look forward to doing it all again and while not trying to completely overwhelm myself in the training process, up the ante. My 2011 running resolution is consistency (and hopefully adding in speed). I know that if I can remain as consistent as last year (and more) that I can accomplish even the bigger prize: a (better) PR. Because if I remain consistent, I'm hoping that will lead to more running dates {hint, hint} and that will in turn give me the extra push I need.

Happy New Year--and I look forward to some great runs! :)

My Ode to The Skapri

As a stay at home mom, my daily wardrobe consists namely of "vintage gray" yoga pants and is ruled by comfort. Last night, I ran to the grocery store in hopes of running into Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear as I roamed the aisles in purple lounge pants, navy rainboots, and a black jacket. I've tried the whole dressy Mama thing but have found that ballet flats just don't cut it when it comes to chasing two busy boys around all day. When it comes to running or working out, my wardrobe consists of gear that works. Bottoms that don't chafe, or ride up, or cause mid-run issues. Tops that wick and are long enough to cover all they should.

For loooooong runs, I love me some compression capris. However, I am not so fond of the post-run errand running in said compression capris as the booty is on full display. Cuteness has never really been a must when considering what to wear for a workout. Function reigning over all else. And then my workout wardrobe changed forever when I discovered the RUNNING SKIRT. Cuteness became a non-forced issue as I threw the skirt on and ran. Only to discover that looking good came with a chafey price. Hello chub rub and thigh wedgey. With the running skirt shelved for shorter runs, the compression capri became my go-to piece of workout gear- as witnessed by wearing them in EVERY.single.race.photo last year. Note to self: first race of 2011, WEAR DIFFERENT BOTTOMS.

And then one day, the clouds opened up, the sun shone down, and the SKAPRI danced upon my computer screen. Skapri. Are they for real? Skapri? I said the name over and over and over. Mostly because it was fun to say. And mostly because I couldn't believe something like this really existed. So naturally, I did what any workoutgearaholic would do. And ordered not one pair, but THREE. Before even giving them a workout test, I wasn't a fan of the Skirtsports skapri. It just didn't fit right and at $$$, these babies had to fit just right. One down, my skapri experience not headed in the right direction. And then these babies showed up on my doorstep:

Run Girl Run

And my workout gear life was revolutionized and changed forever. I am in love. With a pair of workout pants. The capris provide the compression I like. The skirt provides the caboose coverage I like. There is a pocket on the back. I don't think it could get any better. And then these bad boys showed up on my doorstep:
Nike Skapri

Looking at them, there really isn't much difference. But for the cheap old lady that lives within my shopping loving self, these win the prize for fit, price, and cuteness. Compression is a little snugger like my favorite Nike capris mentioned above (the same ones in EVERY.single.race photo on this blog), the skirt is vented on the side and doesn't restrict your movement at all- fully tested and passed as I wore them to a pilates class at the gym, and there is a very handy dandy zipper pocket on the back for Gus, key, etc for those long runs. So, while Stacy and Clinton may no longer find me worthy of What Not to Wear: Workout Edition, I have a loooooooong way to go in the everyday wardrobe department. For now, I will live in and love the skapri.

All I want for Christmas

Just a few things that I want for Christmas:

New shoes and these are the ones I'm currently running in and wouldn't mind either the same pair or if the newer version works, I'll take a pair of those

And a few more pairs of these since the dryer monster ate one of each style I had (so yes, I run with mismatched socks): 

A new one of these (but preferably in a different color than black): 

I love this top (thanks to April for showing it to me):

And because a girl can dream can't she? 

Best laid plans...sort of a vent

Ever have those moments where everything was going just smoothly until BAM! You've hit the biggest pothole known to man and it's thrown you for the biggest loop, you don't know up from down? Well, that's how I've been feeling lately. I took another break from running. Yup, did my usual in letting myself take back seat. I didn't beat myself too much over it because it's that time of year with the holidays and all its craziness. I would do whatever I could squeeze in and try not to complain too much about missing workouts.

I did one workout last week to jumpstart myself and clear my head. I needed to recalibrate my Nike+ and since I got a little irritated at it not calibrating an EASY 1/4 mile walk, I turned it off and just went on my merry way. Two days later, I went for a run. My head was in a bit of a fog and I felt in funk so I just went out with the thought process of 'I don't care about my pace. I don't care about the distance. I *do* care about going for 30 minutes.' And I did. I went out hard. Had my lungs and my legs burning in no time. I even puttered out so I couldn't run up the hill back home, but I didn't care. I got out there and did what I told myself to do. All was good & I felt so much better.

Now this is where my best laid plans get all screwy. Planned a weekend run with my good buddies but other things got in the way (too personal to discuss here). I had planned to go out that day before the rain started and nasty tummy bug hit one of my little guys. No sleep, constantly doing the laundry and a few extra showers to get the funk out were the only things on the agenda. When I finally got some decent sleep that night (or what I thought was decent sleep), I was woken up by my husband in excruciating pain on his way to the ER for another bout of kidney stones. Rescheduled run for Sunday was put off one more day in hopes that the pain meds would keep him comfortable, the little one had kept more food down than in previous hours, and that I could get a little more rest.

Well, today looked to be promising but we spent more than half the day in the ER and the kids are as needy as ever seeing that mommy & daddy haven't been around much in the past 2+ days. I am beyond exhausted. I could've thrown on my running shoes after finally getting the kids to bed an hour after lights were turned out, but instead I use what little energy I have left to jot down my thoughts.

I often wonder when it's times like these where I have started to get myself into a good head space and my body is feeling nothing but greatness, why I can't catch that dang break. Why do I have to be broken down and run (no pun intended) on fumes? I get that in our crazy busy lives of being SAHM or working moms that we need to make time for ourselves, but do I really need an extra double-dose of stress to work around? It's so hard to keep telling myself that 'this, too, shall pass' and to just 'try, try again'. I'm tired. I'm burned out from burned out. And at this point, all I want for Christmas is dang sleep.

Vent over.