Learning to be Selfish...

As a stay-at-home mom, the majority of my days are determined by routine. A schedule that has fallen into place as a result of trial and error. Meals. Naps. And lately, the NIGHTMARE that is potty training. I realized very early on in the parenting game that I don't control nearly as much as I thought.

After having Ty, I struggled to find the balance between being a Mommy...and everything else. Right when I found a groove, Jacob made his appearance on the scene. It was at this point that Rachel announced her desire to run a half marathon. Having run two to three miles pretty consistently since my wedding, I was up for the challenge.

We ran. We trained. We finished our first. And our second. And here we are, weeks away from our third. The training hasn't got any easier. We haven't managed to find extra hours in our days. From her post below, you can see that it takes a lot of planning to get our longer runs in these days...especially as there are MORE of them. For our first Half, we ran 9 miles ONCE. 10 miles ONCE. And raced. Now, we've already logged in the longer mileage and have weeks to go.

Running has taught me a lot. It has given me an outlet to find peace. And quiet. There is no one chasing after me asking for juice. Or snacks. Or in need of a diaper change. Or sibling squabbles to break up. It's just me. And my music. Twice a week I run with mini-bit in the jogger or wake up early to squeeze in the miles. For the long runs on the weekend I sneak away for a bigger chunk of time. If the stars align and schedules open up, I meet my running homies for a run. And coffee. The husband whines. And hims and haws. I understand that my training is a family affair. I understand that it calls on him to watch the boys solo after a LONG week of work. But I no longer feel guilty. Call it a lesson in selfishness but I do it for ME. One day a week. For a few hours.

I think EVERY mom needs the chance to miss her kids. The chance to step out of the house and away from her daily routine. The chance to regain her groove and rejuvenate her well of patience. While a FULL marathon seems truly impossible and is nowhere near my radar of things to do, the lure of FOUR to FIVE hours of uninterrupted time makes me wonder...maybe one day.

10 Things in 10 Minutes

These were just some of the things/questions/conversations going through my head in the 10 minutes it took me to find my groove and glance down and realize I was half-way done with my run.

* Great job--got yourself out of the house and halfway down the street. You can do this for at least 2 more songs.

* Hmm, why does my running skirt feel like it's falling down? It didn't feel big when I put it on...great. This will be interesting. (Start tugging and pulling up every few feet...)

* Did I use enough Glide? Oh dear, is that chafing I'm starting to feel?

* Cute dog, wonder how long s/he has been running alongside the owner? S/he looks like they are about to keel over. If they can hang, so can I.

* Ok, seriously running skirt?! This is almost as bad as the riding up of shorts!

* Hello, (down)hill---be kind to my knees and look good on my pace. ;)

* Glad I had that Chomp and bit of Gatorade...my shade is gone and I'm feeling really hot and kinda yucky. Pull through...it's not that bad. Make it to the next tree.

* Ooh, good Glee song is on! Should I sing? What if I forget to breathe right? Wait, what are those words again? "Don't stop bleeding.." no, it's believing, nothing's bleeding. Now I'm wondering if I have another blister somewhere. Why did I read that silly list of misheard lyrics?!

* What should I have for lunch? Hummus & veggies? Hummus with pita chips? Chips and veggies? Mmm, chips. And cheese. Yup, nachos. Nachos sound so good right now. And a little fro-yo to cool me down afterwards, too. Did I just see a roach coach drive by?

* Ok I think I need to turn around....has been 10 minutes yet? (look down at iPod--it's been 11 minutes) YES halfway done...turn around and faced with going back UP the hill I came down. Son of a...ok, I can do this. Come on music, bring me home! (A little Pump It by Black Eyed Peas did the trick)

And there you have it. I didn't really want to run today. I'm tired. I had two fun and very late nights in a row. My boys were unforgiving and woke up extra early to boot. But I did it. I'm glad I did and nice to know that I can entertain myself for at least 2 miles. ;) 

Planning for the long run

There is a reason people who run half marathons are in a special group. Not only is it a pretty long distance, but as your training goes along, it starts to take a good chunk of time.

We are currently 5 1/2 weeks away from race day. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

It is about this time that, on my long runs, I begin to wonder the hell I decided to do this. And a long run to me is anything over 7 miles. Anything that is going to potentially take more than an hour. Yes. An hour. Of running.

Luckily I have amazing running buddies to keep me motivated. But I know we all go through the same thing to plan for these runs. Yes, I said PLAN.

Here is what a typical long run planning session looks like for me:

Step 1: Email my running buddies to see if they are available on x date to run for x (8, 9, 10) miles.

Step 2: Confirm potential date and find a time to ask very-busy husband if he would mind watching the kids while I run.

Step 3: Slyly slip "would you mind watching the kids on x morning, I was hoping to do a long run with running buddies?" and (under my breath) "I might be gone for a few hours" into a conversation.

Step 4: Watch as very-busy husband rolls his eyes, asks if this is going to be our last race and then he agrees, but asks "you'll be home by lunch time, right?"

Step 5: Rush to add running date to the calendar and email running buddies to let them know we are on.

Step 6: On the actual day of running, I wake up early, eat something, drive out to meet my friends, run run run, grab some coffee and then head back home to the family. Typical running date lasts about 3 hours. See why we have to plan?

But, even after all this planning, running, training, the feeling of crossing that finish line, knowing what we had to do to get there, is absolutely amazing.

And no, this will not be my last race (sorry husband!).

Dusting myself off...

There's a reason why I've been MIA. Actually many reasons...but the main one is that I fell off the running wagon. I fell so far off, the wagon is clear across the country and who knows how I can get back on. I really don't know why I did this to myself. I loved the camaraderie, the runner's high and just knowing that I had that time for myself. After our half in June, I felt like a million bucks. I was smiling from ear to ear for weeks. I had done something I never thought I would in a million years do AGAIN. And it was far more emotional the second time around. As the pride began to subside, I fell back into the chaos at home. Our summer was going to be filled with insane preschool schedules and a HUGE garage clean-out at my parents' house. I forced myself to become hyper-focused on the tasks ahead: to not drive (literally) myself crazy getting two kids to two different schools at two different times and to mentally and physically get myself ready for going through YEARS of stuff that 7 people can accumulate. I couldn't get myself focused back on running...it was just something that was going to take backseat until I could find my groove...

...which was last Monday. All it took was some convincing and little extra push and I got my tush out there (with a FULLY loaded Beast). My only expectation was to run 1 mile. I did it. I survived. The boys weren't too happy, but heck they probably would've been just as upset if I did a longer run. What I realized is that I really need to get better at asking for help. It was an ever so subtle cry for help that was answered with the simple email of 'let's go for a run'. No amount was too little--just the push to get me out there. And it felt good. There is a reason why the 3 of us have come together and stayed together. We have each other to lean on no questions asked, no judgment passed and nothing but all the encouragement in the world. 

So I have dusted myself off and will be ending my summer with a training schedule of getting back into the game and signing up for a 5K in September. As much as I want to conquer a particular time, all I really want to do is just get my groove back. And I hope I can be there to cheer on the other two as they reach their goals in their 3rd half marathon. :)