Reflections & Resolutions

Ah, it's that time of year again. Christmas has come and gone...the mad chaos of the holidays ended as quickly as it came. So now I'm left with thinking of what to do next. As I was reading through my stocking stuffer Runner's World magazine, I kept thinking back to January 2010. The girls and I had started to exchange emails, FB posts and texts about who was running when and where and how the training was going. I really didn't kick start my training for SJR until March which meant I wasn't running more than once or twice a week until then. But I remembered how much I was running during the training and that I was running through the whining and griping of not just my own voice in my head but that of one (or sometimes 2) four year olds sitting in the Beast until I put in my mileage. I tried to think about how I got myself through all the times of self-doubt, heavy legs and whatever other excuse or distraction was looming over me at the time. And one thing kept popping up: it was April & Rachel. Without their motivation and support, I don't think I would've given it the extra push. They have brought out something in me that I really didn't know (or still don't know) existed: a love for running.

If you couldn't tell already, I am really very hard on myself. I am constantly comparing my looks, actions, accomplishments and failures to others. And then I make it worse by wondering what I should be doing to be like them so I don't have to suffer through it over and over. I don't know why I like to torture myself this way but I do. It drives my husband nuts...heck, it drives me nuts, too. But put me next to the girls on an open trail with all the days/weeks/months of gossip, gripes, and latest People magazine cover stories, and I no longer think about the insecurities. There, we are all the same. Three women just putting one foot in front of the other all while enjoying some laughs, asking for advice, and talking about that well-deserved coffee at the end. I feel at home with them there. While we all have different paces, it doesn't matter when we're together. What matters is that we have not only made the time to do something we all enjoy and love, but we made the time to share it with each other. (Yes, I'm also a sentimental and mushy kinda gal.) They've helped me realize that it doesn't matter what my pace is or how many water breaks I take or that I can't really talk and run at the same time. It's all about how I feel in the end. And I do love that running makes me feel more clear, level-headed and energized.

This past year was by far the most accomplished I have felt in a very long time when it comes to running. The amount of time and sweat I poured into training for the 2nd half marathon was unlike anything I had done before. I look forward to doing it all again and while not trying to completely overwhelm myself in the training process, up the ante. My 2011 running resolution is consistency (and hopefully adding in speed). I know that if I can remain as consistent as last year (and more) that I can accomplish even the bigger prize: a (better) PR. Because if I remain consistent, I'm hoping that will lead to more running dates {hint, hint} and that will in turn give me the extra push I need.

Happy New Year--and I look forward to some great runs! :)

My Ode to The Skapri

As a stay at home mom, my daily wardrobe consists namely of "vintage gray" yoga pants and is ruled by comfort. Last night, I ran to the grocery store in hopes of running into Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear as I roamed the aisles in purple lounge pants, navy rainboots, and a black jacket. I've tried the whole dressy Mama thing but have found that ballet flats just don't cut it when it comes to chasing two busy boys around all day. When it comes to running or working out, my wardrobe consists of gear that works. Bottoms that don't chafe, or ride up, or cause mid-run issues. Tops that wick and are long enough to cover all they should.

For loooooong runs, I love me some compression capris. However, I am not so fond of the post-run errand running in said compression capris as the booty is on full display. Cuteness has never really been a must when considering what to wear for a workout. Function reigning over all else. And then my workout wardrobe changed forever when I discovered the RUNNING SKIRT. Cuteness became a non-forced issue as I threw the skirt on and ran. Only to discover that looking good came with a chafey price. Hello chub rub and thigh wedgey. With the running skirt shelved for shorter runs, the compression capri became my go-to piece of workout gear- as witnessed by wearing them in EVERY.single.race.photo last year. Note to self: first race of 2011, WEAR DIFFERENT BOTTOMS.

And then one day, the clouds opened up, the sun shone down, and the SKAPRI danced upon my computer screen. Skapri. Are they for real? Skapri? I said the name over and over and over. Mostly because it was fun to say. And mostly because I couldn't believe something like this really existed. So naturally, I did what any workoutgearaholic would do. And ordered not one pair, but THREE. Before even giving them a workout test, I wasn't a fan of the Skirtsports skapri. It just didn't fit right and at $$$, these babies had to fit just right. One down, my skapri experience not headed in the right direction. And then these babies showed up on my doorstep:

Run Girl Run

And my workout gear life was revolutionized and changed forever. I am in love. With a pair of workout pants. The capris provide the compression I like. The skirt provides the caboose coverage I like. There is a pocket on the back. I don't think it could get any better. And then these bad boys showed up on my doorstep:
Nike Skapri

Looking at them, there really isn't much difference. But for the cheap old lady that lives within my shopping loving self, these win the prize for fit, price, and cuteness. Compression is a little snugger like my favorite Nike capris mentioned above (the same ones in EVERY.single.race photo on this blog), the skirt is vented on the side and doesn't restrict your movement at all- fully tested and passed as I wore them to a pilates class at the gym, and there is a very handy dandy zipper pocket on the back for Gus, key, etc for those long runs. So, while Stacy and Clinton may no longer find me worthy of What Not to Wear: Workout Edition, I have a loooooooong way to go in the everyday wardrobe department. For now, I will live in and love the skapri.

All I want for Christmas

Just a few things that I want for Christmas:

New shoes and these are the ones I'm currently running in and wouldn't mind either the same pair or if the newer version works, I'll take a pair of those

And a few more pairs of these since the dryer monster ate one of each style I had (so yes, I run with mismatched socks): 

A new one of these (but preferably in a different color than black): 

I love this top (thanks to April for showing it to me):

And because a girl can dream can't she? 

Best laid plans...sort of a vent

Ever have those moments where everything was going just smoothly until BAM! You've hit the biggest pothole known to man and it's thrown you for the biggest loop, you don't know up from down? Well, that's how I've been feeling lately. I took another break from running. Yup, did my usual in letting myself take back seat. I didn't beat myself too much over it because it's that time of year with the holidays and all its craziness. I would do whatever I could squeeze in and try not to complain too much about missing workouts.

I did one workout last week to jumpstart myself and clear my head. I needed to recalibrate my Nike+ and since I got a little irritated at it not calibrating an EASY 1/4 mile walk, I turned it off and just went on my merry way. Two days later, I went for a run. My head was in a bit of a fog and I felt in funk so I just went out with the thought process of 'I don't care about my pace. I don't care about the distance. I *do* care about going for 30 minutes.' And I did. I went out hard. Had my lungs and my legs burning in no time. I even puttered out so I couldn't run up the hill back home, but I didn't care. I got out there and did what I told myself to do. All was good & I felt so much better.

Now this is where my best laid plans get all screwy. Planned a weekend run with my good buddies but other things got in the way (too personal to discuss here). I had planned to go out that day before the rain started and nasty tummy bug hit one of my little guys. No sleep, constantly doing the laundry and a few extra showers to get the funk out were the only things on the agenda. When I finally got some decent sleep that night (or what I thought was decent sleep), I was woken up by my husband in excruciating pain on his way to the ER for another bout of kidney stones. Rescheduled run for Sunday was put off one more day in hopes that the pain meds would keep him comfortable, the little one had kept more food down than in previous hours, and that I could get a little more rest.

Well, today looked to be promising but we spent more than half the day in the ER and the kids are as needy as ever seeing that mommy & daddy haven't been around much in the past 2+ days. I am beyond exhausted. I could've thrown on my running shoes after finally getting the kids to bed an hour after lights were turned out, but instead I use what little energy I have left to jot down my thoughts.

I often wonder when it's times like these where I have started to get myself into a good head space and my body is feeling nothing but greatness, why I can't catch that dang break. Why do I have to be broken down and run (no pun intended) on fumes? I get that in our crazy busy lives of being SAHM or working moms that we need to make time for ourselves, but do I really need an extra double-dose of stress to work around? It's so hard to keep telling myself that 'this, too, shall pass' and to just 'try, try again'. I'm tired. I'm burned out from burned out. And at this point, all I want for Christmas is dang sleep.

Vent over.

Friday 5: Running Edition

5 races I have started & finished:
* Primo's Run 10K (2002)
* Devil Mountain Run 5K (2004, I think)
* Grape Stomp 1/2 Marathon (2009)
* See Jane Run 1/2 Marathon (2010)
* Grape Stomp 10K (2010)

5 songs that I always listen to while running:
* Beautiful Day by U2
* Pump It by Black Eyed Peas
* Rush from the So I Married an Axe Murderer soundtrack
* Hey Baby by No Doubt
* My Life Would Suck Without You by Glee cast

5 things I think about to distract me:
* My to-do list after I stretch & shower
* What amazing and completely fattening meal I would love to indulge in (usually it's a big plate of fettuccine alfredo)
* My breathing
* My next race
* My pace...but concentrating on this too much gets the best of me.

5 things I have when I run (other than the bare necessities of clothes & shoes):
* Depending on the time of the run, the Beast (and could be half or fully loaded)
* iPod
* Phone
* A Gu Chomp
* Keys

5 races I'd love to do:
* WDW Princess Half Marathon
* Disneyland Half Marathon
* A RnR series (been regretting not signing up for it this year)
* Bay to Breakers (again another one that I didn't get to participate in this year)
* Nike Women's Half (don't think I could ever be convinced to do a full)

Our "race-iversary"

The three of us just celebrated our "race-iversary", once year ago we ran our first half marathon. We ran two after that. Three half marathons in less than a year. I kind of think we rock.

In celebration of our big day, we had planned to run the Grape Stomp 10K. It was the race that got it all started for us. Unfortunately, I had to have surgery not long after the last race to correct a problem from my last c-section, so I could not run.

I am not a good when someone tells me that I can't do something. I was soooooo incredibly disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to run this race. I kept telling myself I could to it. It was 2 weeks after this "minor" surgery, I could do it, right?

No, I couldn't. My "minor" surgery was quite painful. But my friends did it. And they did it well. And I was there to cheer them on at the finish line. And Erica PR'd. I may not have run it with them, but my heart was sure there!

Then we celebrated with brunch, pedicures and wine tasting. And it was a special person's birthday.

Happy Race-iversary Ladies. I love you both and look forward to many anniversaries in the future!!

Grape Stomp: One year later

What a year it's been! This past Sunday marked our one year race-iversary (Rachel came up with the fabulous term and it's stuck!). April & I (with Rachel in spirit) ran the 10K portion of the race this year as a way to commemorate all that we've done. Going into this race, I just wanted to beat a PR from 8 years ago. It seemed silly to think about at first because a lot had happened in 8 years, mainly the fact that I was heavier, with 2 kids, and just a fraction of the time to train for this than I did for that one. But I so badly just wanted a better time. I wanted to really prove to myself and everyone else that I can run faster. 

I didn't really remember much of this race. As we got together afterwards for brunch, we all agreed that we were overwhelmed with excitement and nerves to remember anything but our finishes. The first noticeable difference was that registration was full. April technically didn't register to run it, but it wasn't like they were really strict about checking for bibs or chips. And the race occurred on a public trail so she would've joined me at any point in the race. The next big thing was that the forecast was incredibly different than last year. We're pretty sure it was warm then...but we had a huge storm brewing. It was forecasted to be wet & windy. Luckily, we only had the windy part as the rain came just after I crossed the finish line. 

We made our way to the starting line and I was so anxious to get this going. It really didn't help that they started all the races late. But we were off--and we snaked our way in and out of the walkers in front and to get out onto the trail itself. I knew I'd start off fast--heck I was with April! I also knew that I could slow her down if need be (maybe she'll chime in and let me down easy with when I did that). ;) Soon we passed mile 1...then the sprinting 5K'ers came yelling through..and then, holy crap: we were halfway there! I felt pretty damn amazing until about 4+ miles. I grabbed some water to cut the nasty taste in my mouth. I had mentally beat myself up for not bringing a GU Chomp or even a piece of candy. I have never felt so queasy ever on a run! Really I wouldn't have kept going if it weren't for April. Sure I was slowing my pace, but as we kept going I somehow put the feelings aside. I had to--I had a number in my head. The finish line was SO, so close! 

She pulled away at the parking lot and I did my best to put it all out there. I did...then I saw the time: 1:19:--. I immediately thought, 'Well there goes that personal best' followed by the ever so classy, 'F!#$'! I heard Rachel and my other friend, Lisa cheering me on but I was already defeated. I felt so bad. I thought I really had done it. I hadn't run and kept up with April (without a stroller to slow her down either) in so long. Why didn't my time show me that? 

They hadn't posted results quickly enough and the storm was coming. We hurried out of there to enjoy the rest of our celebrating. Fast forward to later that day when I googled the results. This popped up: 

1:11:04

I did it! I did it! I did it! I had forgotten that we started 8 minutes later than we were supposed to. I had successfully beaten my 10K time from 2002. It wasn't *the* number in my head, but it was 5+ minutes faster than the other. And I was completely in shock & so, so happy! 

So here we all are a year later. We're still running. We're faster. And we're still planning our future races (can you say Disneyland?!). I sit here trying to write something awesome to finish this off, but I apologize, I'm distracted by that amazing, bold number that's flashing right in front of me. :)