Hello My Name is...

I can only think of a handful of times in my life where I have really wanted to quit. Throw my hands in the air, walk away, and never look back.

* My junior year of high school my softball coach tried to turn me into a pitcher. I am not a pitcher. Not even close. I could never get the wrist flick necessary to make the ball go more than .01 mph over the plate. Needless to say, we lost every single game that year. Every.single.game. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit softball and never look back.

I didn't. That summer my little league all star team traveled to Arizona to play in a regional championship tournament. One of the most memorable sporting accomplishments of my life.

* My first semester at Cal. After enduring a semester of walking across campus between classes-- no one had mentioned that I should take a look at the campus map when planning/selecting my classes. Across campus = a little over a mile. UP HILL. Did I mention I had TEN MINUTES. No one told me to look at the finals schedule either when picking classes. As a result, I ended up with FOUR final exams...over TWO days. I had never been so stressed out, exhausted, and overwhelmed in my life. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit. Throw my hands in the air, walk away, and never look back.

I didn't. Many semesters later, I would walk across the stage twice. Once for my undergrad degree and again for my master's degree.

* Giving birth to my first son, Ty. After a relatively quick and easy labor I was faced with a challenging delivery. Three hours of pushing and no baby. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit.

I didn't. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Thirty minutes later, my beautiful son FINALLY entered the world.

And lastly, Saturday.

I went into the practice run feeling very confident. I felt great through mile eight. Nine. Around mile ten I could really feel the pain in my hip. My whole lower body ached. I couldn't see the finish line. Like, REALLY couldn't see the finish line. Exhausted and frustrated, I wanted to quit. Walk. Hitch hike. Hop on someone's back. Crawl. Anything OTHER THAN run. Fortunately, I had Rachel there to tell me no walking. WE can do this. I thought she was crazy. I couldn't see an end in sight. EVERYTHING hurt. I thought "I AM NOT A RUNNER"...what am I doing. How did I get here.

If you were to ask me if I am a runner, I would reluctantly answer. Sort of. In my mind: runners hop out of bed, throw on their shoes, and run. No mental debates fought between one's self. Run. Not run. Stay in bed. Run. For me, there is ALWAYS a mental debate. A million other things I'd rather do. But in the end, I usually run. Saying you are a runner comes with expectations. Runners don't quit. I REALLY wanted to quit. Runners exhibit perseverance, determination, courage, strength. They set out to accomplish a goal...and do it.

I didn't quit. I crossed the finish. Feeling slightly down and mad at myself for wanting to quit. Only to find out that the course was longer than expected. I had run further than I thought. I had done it. I had finished. Hours later, I found myself thinking about our practice run. Our 12 MILE practice run.

Sports. Running. Why do this? Two kids. A busy, traveling husband. Ultimately, I realize running pushes me to be stronger. Persevere. Determined. Strong. Work towards a goal.

Hello, my name is April. And I am a runner.

"Practice Run"

The store that is organizing the race we are running in had a "practice run" this past weekend. The mileage, 11 1/2 miles, was perfect for where we are in our training, so the three of us made arrangements to be able to run it. I still couldn't believe 11 1/2 miles was a "practice run" for this girl who used to hate running.


I woke up that morning with some nervous energy, mostly nervous about getting to the start location on time. It happened to be where the race would be starting, so I was glad to see where we would be running.


We got to the park in Alameda and about froze our poopers off waiting for the organizers to say "go". It was absolutely amazing to be surrounded by such a variety of women, old, young, mothers, runners, walkers, etc. When we started, we worked our way up in the group to find our pace. I thought we started out a little fast, but we quickly got to a comfortable speed and settled in for our long run.

We chugged along, saw the Oakland Coliseum, the Bay and then rounded a corner and saw an amazing view of the San Francisco skyline, it was beautiful, but super windy.


We kept running and running and running. April checked her Nike + and it said we were around 8 miles, awesome, we felt pretty good and only had 3 1/2 miles to go.


We crossed a bridge and thought we had about 2 more miles. At this point, we were both pretty tired and ready to be done. We put one foot in front of the other, figuring we can push through the next two miles.


We kept running and running and running. I think I told April that this seemed like the longest 2 miles of my life.


We finally rounded the corner to the park and saw the red tent. We gave it all we had to get across that finish line. We finally made it!


April checked her Nike +. It said 12.22.


12.22

WHAT?!

We thought her Nike + was just a bit off. Then more people started crossing the finish line and their Garmins, Nike +, etc. said 12 plus miles. We realized we had just ran over 12 miles. Less than one more mile and we would have finished our 2nd half marathon.

So, come June 5th, we will "technically" be running our 3rd half marathon. And, if the course and participants are anything like what we saw this weekend, I can't wait.

Running Quote

This quote has ended up being the topic of conversation this week:

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no

...membership card to get. You just run."

--John Bingham

I've come a long way, baby!

This past weekend SJR had organized a practice run along the course. I jumped at the opportunity---I knew we needed to get a long run in, but how awesome was it that we would be running the race route as well? It was perfect timing and very exciting.

We made our way out to the meeting spot and were anxious to get really moving---it was COLD & windy out! I pretty much lost sight of my running buddies from the get-go. I could see them bobbing up and down but the trail was narrow and I got quickly fed up with weaving in and out of people. So I cranked up my tunes and set out to focus on just getting to the first landmark. I didn't want to stay too anxious over it being cold and the fact that I wasn't with my buddies. I made sure to focus all my mental energy to something else--trying to sing along with whatever song came on, check out the others' cool running gear, heck I even kept trying to figure out some of the tattoos that I saw around me. If I started to lose focus and start thinking about what might be hurting or maybe I should stop, then I'd just tell myself to run until the end of the current song.

Pretty soon I found myself at my first stop---an intersection. I made myself NOT push my little button to tell me how far I had gone or what my pace was but about 1/4 mile after that intersection the suspense was killing me. It was close to 4 miles! Now that may seem like chump change to some, but it was a LOT to me. I made it through all that time without constantly checking my iPod...and what was even more amazing: I FELT AWESOME! I kept chugging away and taking in the sights. I stopped at one of the bigger water stops and grabbed some Gatorade. I thought this would be perfect for my new packet of Gu Chomps. But I turned my pack inside out and found none. :( Great job, Erica--you left it back in the car. Ok, don't panic--I will just keep on plugging away and see how far I go. Almost 8 miles later, I checked my handy dandy iPod and came across an amazing view of the bay and SF. I snapped a quick picture and saw that I was getting close to where we back-track to the starting area. I had to admit that I got a little too overconfident here. I had the BIGGEST grin on my face. I was already congratulating myself on a job well done...but I had yet to even finish.

This is where I started to really feel the exhaustion and achy muscles. I just wanted to get close enough and maybe walk a bit if needed to. And I did...but that walk was THE LONGEST WALK EVER!! I remember seeing a 2-mile marker and it was loooooong past when I might have made that 2 mile mark. I was done at this point...I even texted the other two girls. This was ridiculous---where was the dang park?! I moaned and groaned my way back and FINALLY saw that big red tent. I was seriously never so happy to see it. 

While stretching and some chit-chat with the girls, I just couldn't help but feel so dang proud of all the little milestones that I accomplished on this long run. This is so much more mental for me than physical. I have every excuse going through my head as to why I should stop, why I should've never signed up for another race or why I am not meant to be a runner. While there are some things that I wish I could've done better along that run, the end is the same: I am still so dang proud. I did it. And I did it better than I ever thought I could. Twelve weeks ago I was not prepared for this race. I can look back at emails and they are filled with lots of motivating words from April & Rachel: 'No excuses! Just go for 5 minutes. Great job on 2 miles!' 

I've come a very long way, baby! All the colds, flu bugs, and injuries that occurred along the way, I still did it. I had such doubt...ok, I still have a lot of doubt that I can do this again in 2 weeks, but really I was already thinking I was just going to somehow write off the 40-some dollars for the registration. But I stuck with it---my goals changed over the course of training. I had originally wanted to match the other girls' times...but in the end I knew I couldn't. Now my goal is just to shave off as much time as I can from my previous race. I know I will do that because I am better prepared. I just can't get off this high I am on from yesterday's run. :) I made it---and seriously couldn't have done it without the other two. (Also don't know how they have put up with me this long, lol.) Now to just keep this positive mentality going for two more weeks! ACK! :)

Two Things Everyone Should Do Once...

1. Run the Bay to Breakers. Nothing like the experience of running with 60,000 other people. Our view from the start. It literally took just over two miles for the crowd to thin out:
2. Run said race in a tutu and knee high socks:

A Secret Running Affair

I have been secretly running with a new running partner. You see, a week ago, I aggravated my hip flexor. I saw an athletic trainer and was told I had strained it. To rest. To do certain stretches. Um...Idonotthinkso. Three weeks before the half that I have been training for MONTHS. There was no way I was going to throw in the towel. I figured, at the very worst, I would hobble my way across the finish line before they closed down the course. Quitting was not an option.

A few running homies suggested I look into a foam roller. I did. And while in the aisle I spotted what would become my new love. The Marathon Stick aka torturous muscle massaging device sworn on by the associate at Sports Basement. He looked like a very in-shape guy. He claimed to have run marathons and said the stick was a must have. Desperation took over. I bought it. Shocking, I know.

And you know what, it's truly amazing. Painful, but amazing. I am all about gimicks and gadgets. I am a sucker, I completely realize that. So, it will come as no surprise that I also splurged on a pair of Reebok Easy Tone shoes after reading that simply wearing them will tone my butt, thin my thighs, and help me lose weight. Well, one week later. I've gained two pounds, my ass feels bigger than normal, and my thighs hate me.

No really. The shoes are comfortable. I don't, however, believe that they do anything remotely miraculous. People are losing weight and toning up because they are likely walking more in the shoes than they were prior to buying them. All this said, I still wear them. And hope. Total sucker. That's me.

Getting scared

I thought it was the fact that I have been trying to get over a chest cold that kept me from logging in any miles, but I think it's something more. I'm getting scared. Scared to the point where I'm hitting a wall that has me questioning my decision to keep running and actually finishing the race coming up. I won't lie---this is where my anxiety starts really climbing. I'm doubting my every move---can I really run this race? What if I get a cramp? What if I hurt myself? What if something worse happens? I know I will be surrounded by so many in the same boat and all I have to do is just give what I can. 


I ran 3 miles because I had some time and the weather was perfect. Even though I had a great music set coming thru my earphones, I still couldn't shake all the questions. What on Earth did I get myself into?! This is when solo runs aren't very fun. I can distract myself somewhat with music, but my mind will still keep coming up with crazy and worrisome thoughts. 


Ack--I just need to get this out in hopes that it will calm me down. I know that as it gets closer and I log on more miles I might feel better. But if I don't feel better, I just need to believe that I gave it my all. I surrounded myself with 2 amazing running partners who were there for me until the end. I can do this...right?! Right?!